“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7 (NIV)
As I reflect on the last 10 days, I am in awe of the way God has worked in my life. This simple bible passage helps me to remember that no matter what I may see, God sees a totally different picture.
As I have mentioned, I had some God moments during the ETTM Power of Connection moment. Sharing a past “secret” with someone who I didn’t know but felt compelled to share with was overwhelming. The release of that “secret” that has haunted me for years was the beginning of a transformation that would continue the rest of the week.
My sponsor with Thirty One (who has also reached the highest ladder with Thirty One as an NED) Hope Shortt has an annual vision call. It is during this call that she shares her heart felt story of her journey with Thirty One. Every year, I cry and I am touched with her honesty, her humility and her success. This year, I shared the recording with my hubby. I wanted him to understand and see how AWESOME she really was. His response to the call was surprising or should I say – SHOCKING!
When I started to talk about a recent struggle, he put up his hand and said “All I hear is blah, blah, blah! You are your own worst enemy”. Yes, it may have been a bit harsh but it is something that I have heard for years. Counselors have told me, rehab counselors told me, family and even friends have said the same thing. I know it! I am my biggest struggle. I get it but how do I get over it. In a calm voice, hubby said, “l listened twice to the recording of Hope and I thought I was listening to your story. You two could be sisters or better yet the same person”. Okay, so I was a little shocked because I would never even consider myself on the same level with Hope (the other one). Rob proceeded to tell me it was time to get through the block and find some help.
My first reaction was to get a “trainer” or life coach that I have met at the conference. You know the ones that offer awesome programs that you know that if you take them, you will be awesome too. Rob’s response was not what I expected – he said “you need someone who takes our insurance and can not only help you through this block but also coach you”. YIKES! Where was I going to find someone like that? I had a million reasons (okay, excuses) when he said “you are just stubborn and standing in your own way of success”. I have to admit, I pouted for a bit. I got mad. But I got busy looking for someone that would meet all of my requirements. I was going to interview counselors and I was going to prove to him that there was no one out there that could do what I needed in my personal life and my business.
God had another plan. I started pulling up all of the counselors in our network for insurance. There were the usual ones that dealt with emotional disorders but than I came across one. I was intrigued enough to do some more research on her. I found out that she did counseling for women only and focused on self-esteem, weight loss, and was a life coach. I called her expecting to get a machine or to have to wait a long time for an appointment. WRONG on both counts. She answered her own phone and gave me an appointment for Wednesday – this coming week.
Okay God, I get the message. I have beat myself up long enough. I have come close to success and backed away. I have been that stubborn woman who doesn’t believe anyone can love her unconditionally. I am ready to change. I know it is not going to be easy. I have to admit, now that I have made the appointment, I am a little nervous and tempted to cancel it. I won’t because I am not only doing this for me – I am doing it for my marriage, my business and most of all because I believe that this is God’s plan for me.
You see, real value is in the eye of the beholder, and Christ is the Beholder of us all. Our value not only makes us precious to God, but it also makes us usable for amazing purposes in His kingdom that we would have never imagined.
I long to see myself in his eyes. I am ready for this new journey….
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!