Change for You or Others

Today is the last day of our Beacon of Hope Leadership Retreat.  It will be nice to head home and snuggle with hubby.  As far as my business, watch out!  I am energized, motivated and ready to ROCK like a STAR again.  Words can’t express the magnitude of this past weekend Spent with AMAZING Thirty One sisters, and learning from the AWESOME Becky Spieth and Hope Shortt.  My Goals are in place.  I am focused on my emotional why.  I am ready to DREAM BIG and the sky is the limit.

To reinforce the positive energy, God sent me a message through Tiny Buddha:

“One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly OK.” ~Unknown

“Some people come in our life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons.” – Mother Theresa

After being in a room filled with over 50 leaders in various stages of their business, I entered looking for validation and acceptance; feeling less than, insecure and wondering if I belonged.  Funny thing is that the only one that really doesn’t accept me is me.  I won’t say that everyone likes me and that is a hard pill for me for me swallow?  See I am a people pleaser from way back.  I want people to like me.  Not always a great trait as a Social Worker or a boss.  I struggle with conflict especially if I know that the end result will be a person who doesn’t like me.

This weekend was another SMACK in an effort to teach me this lesson.  I know that when I finally learn it, the blessings will flow.  You are wondering how I know that?  I know it because I keep repeating the same lesson over and over again.  Sort of like repeating the same grade in school – keep doing it until you get it right?  It is like when I used to practice the piano, practice and practice getting it right until the very end.  Then PLINK!  A wrong note and I had to repeat it again and again.  I figure God is trying different ways to teach me this lesson, short of hitting me with a 2 x 4 board.

I have a few soul connections – you know people that are always there for me, who love me, support me in tough times, and bring me back on track.  I have been reflecting on the reasons why they like me.  Not easy since some days I don’t like me.  It is forcing me to see myself through the eyes of people who truly like me and accept me wholeheartedly. I am desperate to be that person.

As of TODAY – I am DONE with feeling bad about myself because of what others say.  I am DONE with taking on other’s insecurities in an effort to fix a struggling relationship.   I no longer want to compare myself to others while seeking their approval.  The truth is, there are some people who will never approve of me or what I do. It is okay.  Isn’t that why we have 31 flavors (or more) of ice cream?

Of course, we want people to like us, but it’s not healthy to dwell on it if they don’t. I love this:

I learned from this bitter experience that you cannot force anyone to like you, but you can like yourself for who you are. How others will perceive you is none of your business. As long as you are happy and satisfied with yourself, you are good to go.

As Marcus Aurelius correctly said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

I am changing my thoughts and my actions.  I am starting to do things that make me happy and I am noticing a ripple effect. I am not quite that same old person, laughing, giggling, and enjoying life to the fullest but each day I get a little closer.

Is today the day that you stop focusing on others and start focusing on yourself?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

One thought on “Change for You or Others

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