You Can STOP the Bullying Self-Talk

13710013_10157280658795220_3621804307325745350_nI have been reflecting on last week’s Thirty One Conference.  From the first speaker, John Fleming at Director’s Day through to the last, Shelene Bryan – it seemed like they were talking to ME!   Doubt and fear has plaques me over the last year or so – in my business, in my personal life and in my faith.  Their words touched my soul and I came home with a new set of tools to fight the bully in my life.

Did you know that everyday, you chat with yourself!  Some may say… NO, I don’t talk to myself BUT the truth is that we do.  Our ‘inner gremlins” are those NAGGY, BULLYING voices that you use to ‘TALK’ to yourself and the harsh, mean tone you use.

Admit it!  You can be flying along having a great day and them WHAM! You find you’ve made a mistake! Or maybe you “forgot” to do something. Or maybe you went off your diet.  Whatever it is – those bullying voices start to creep in.  When the voices grow louder, do they start calling you negative names?

Some can kick them to the curb and keep going on the positive route.  Then there are others who may not close the door totally on those little voices.  Maybe they shout when you least expect it –

YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT!

Those voices are disastrous to your self-confidence when they hit you up on a daily basis.  Those voices CHIP AWAY at your confidence, little by little, and before long you start to believe what they say. Doubt sets in. Fear begins to rule.  Those voices are ECHOES OF THE PAST..words uttered by others in your life when you were a child.

I know, maybe you can’t remember things like that ever being said.  Maybe you tucked them away…. BUT those “inner gremlins” are still lurking in the background in the hopes that you will begin to believe them as an adult.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO STOP THE BULLYS?

Only YOU can take control and kill the chatter. You have the power and ability to change your thoughts and shut down the sound of your bullying voices! Once you’ve reached a point of ‘enough is enough’ negative self-talk, bored feeling like you’re NEVER GOOD ENOUGH and ready to move past it, you can take action and reshape your voices into more encouraging ones!

Only when you do this can you build your confidence in yourself, eliminating FEAR and BELIEVE you can FLY!

Here’s 3 simple ways to SHUT THEM DOWN!

UNDERSTAND

Listen to your voices, listen to how they ‘talk’ to you and especially take note to when your negative chitter chatter gets louder. Do they get louder when

You make a mistake?
You forget to do something? or
You blow your top at someone?

Pay close attention the triggers or what flips the switch into your dismissive voices!

CHALLENGE

When the triggers are switched on, the voices get loud, listen to what they’re saying ..

You’re such a screw-up!
You can’t do anything right! or
Boy, that was a stupid move!

Without hesitation, challenge those statements or ideas with the TRUTH.

Really, you’ve got to be kidding, that’s definitely not true!
Everyone makes mistakes, I learned from it and it’s okay or
Next time I will plan better.

The real truth, of course, is no one messes up CONSTANTLY!

TURN THEM AROUND

When your voices start to bully you, make you want to shrink into a hole and hide, shut them down immediately by responding back with positive messages.

Wow, that’s definitely not true, look at all I’ve accomplished.
Mistakes happen to all of us.
I do my best.
I’m okay with that.

The more you kick the bullying voices to the curb and squash them with positive talk, the more power you build within yourself.

IT’S NOT A QUICK FIX.

No, you won’t go to bed one night and miraculously wake up the next day with all your confidence back.  Step by step, smashing the nagging, mean voices and calling their bluff right away WILL result in a more powerful, self-confident YOU!

“If you wouldn’t say those things to someone else you love, why are you saying them to yourself?” – Elaina Marie

How do you stop those nasty bullying voices? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

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