Judgment Becomes Curiosity

Judgement is defined as the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, from circumstances presented to the mind”.  How many times have you judged or been judged by someone – no matter what the reason?  I know we try our best NOT to judge but isn’t it human nature to judge others.  

Think about it, isn’t it natural to form an opinion about information we receive.  The problem arises when we proclaim our opinion as the truth, even when we don’t have enough information to come to a definite conclusion.

We judge people for the way they look.  We judge people for the way they dress, where they live, what we “think” their life is like, what they eat, how they act……….you get the picture, right?  In direct sales, we judge those who may be potential customers and/or recruits.  We have already decided they may or may not buy or join based on what we think or what we perceive.  BUT have we talked to them?  Have we asked them any questions?

The first step in changing this habit is to be aware of your tendency to do it AND admitting it.  When you stop judging others, you will notice yourself connecting with people more authentically and learning valuable information about them. When others feel like they are being heard, they are more open to hearing you.

I challenge you to try this: The next time you are tempted to be judgmental, instead, be curious. Instead of deciding you know their motives, intentions or backstory, withhold those judgments and listen. The only way to build bridges is to refuse to jump to conclusions, and instead be curious.

1. Be curious by asking questions of yourself.

  • Why do you suppose they did/said/feel that?
  • How does it affect me, if at all?
  • Why does it bother me?
  • What could I learn from this person or situation?

2. Be curious by asking questions of others.

What if we asked them to tell us more about (fill in the blank)?  Or maybe you have been in their shoes, so you can share with them, or ask how they are feeling.  Better yet, say nothing at all. Let them talk and just listen.

We can learn so much about people by turning away from judgment and towards curiosity. When you ask those two questions – of yourself and others – you will gain a new unexpected perspective or a new piece of information providing insight you might not have had before.  It will help you build trust which will  open the door to greater connection.

Who have you been (tempted to be) judgmental towards recently? At work? On social media? With a friend or family member?

Think about your business…. have you heard those cues about needing more time, or money?  Have you hesitated because you had already decided they wouldn’t be interested or couldn’t afford the enrollment kit?  Have you missed an opportunity to connect with someone new?  Maybe you have missed out on giving or receiving a blessing because you pre-judged them and their situation.

I recently heard another leader with Thirty One talk about how she offers the opportunity to everyone.  Not who she thinks would be interested but everyone.  What is the worse thing that could happen?  They say NO!  Imagine if they said yes!  She believes EVERYONE will be on her team at some point in time, it is all a matter of time.  Do you know what has happened to her business?  It has grown by leaps and bounds.  She has gone from judgemental to curious.

What would happen if you were curious instead of judgement? Share your AHA moment with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

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