For some of us (yes, I’m included), no matter how much we achieve or how much progress we make, we still have those nasty inner gremlins (and maybe some outer ones) who want to knock us down.
It’s the gremlins in our head saying:
- “You’re not good enough.”
- “You’ll look like a fool.”
- “Who do you think you are?”
- “You are self-centered. It isn’t always about you”.
When these mantras start, it is sometimes hard to silence the noise. Verbal abuse whether external or internal can eat away at us. Did you know there are things you can do to actively combat those nasty inner gremlins? If it is an outer voice saying these things, the inner voices feed on those comments long after the outer voice has stopped talking.
Here are four simple ways to overcome those nasty gremlins:
1. Start talking to yourself
“You need to stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself again.”
Those nasty inner gremlins are setting you up for failure. We are what we feed our mind. When we feed those nasty gremlins positive things, they will shrink in the corner and the good will overcome. When we feed them something negative, you know what happens.
The bottom line is: the statements and questions you use in conversations with yourself make a huge difference in what you do, how you think, and how you feel.
Instead of questions like, “Why am I having such a hard time?” or, “Why does this always happen to me?” Try, “What just happened, and what can I take away from this?” Ask yourself questions which are life giving not life killing. OUCH! What we do, how we think, and how we feel are all dictated by the conversations we have with ourselves. Pay attention to those conversations and watch how your life changes.2. Celebrate Often
When was the last time you celebrated a small victory? Or do you wait until you reach a huge milestone to celebrate? Did you know by waiting to celebrate, you are giving those nasty inner gremlins a chance to sneak in the back door crushing your joy?
Why not celebrate everything and everyone—all the time? It’s hard to stay discouraged when you’re constantly searching for something or someone to celebrate. The seeds of depressions have a tough time taking root in a grateful heart and the same is true with discouragement and celebration.
You have your goals set, right? Now create smaller ones leading up to the BIG one and plan some kind of celebration when you reach a small milestone. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just give yourself a reward for making progress. Then watch for others who are hitting their small milestones, and recognize them when they do. When you acknowledge an achievement others are overlooking or discounting in their own lives, you can do wonders for their confidence.
Celebrating small wins along the way will keep you motivated and encouraged. Don’t neglect it!
3. Prune Your Negative Vines
This one can be tough but it is probably one of the most important pieces to the puzzle. When you don’t prune unproductive branches off a fruit-bearing tree, you can’t expect much of a harvest. The same goes for us.
We must distance ourselves from negativity. If we don’t, we stunt our own growth. Your dreams, visions, and opportunities will always require you to become more than you currently are. In short, you must grow to achieve them. So, how can you grow when you are surrounded by negativity?
Those outside voices feed the negativity to those nasty inner gremlins and the result is they squash your dreams saying things to discourage you.
The vision you have for your life (and your family’s life) holds more weight than other people’s opinions. So distance yourself from negativity. Don’t listen to people whose intentions are just to slow you down. For some, the most negative people in your life can be those who are closest to you. You can actually use these four strategies to distance yourself from them.
4. Establish Boundaries
Imagine how easy it would be for an army to capture an unprotected city. The same thing can happen to your mind if you don’t establish boundaries. Boundaries are the castle walls surrounding your mind, preventing discouragement from walking right in and taking control. The problem is most people are scared to set them. I know I am sometimes.
We don’t want to offend others, so we tolerate the negative people and activities influencing our thinking and behavior. When we do this, we let their meaningless opinions take priority over our own goals and dreams. Whom you spend time with, what you spend time doing, and what you allow in your mind will either help you overcome discouragement, or fall to its forces.
Boundaries are the only mechanism for keeping the bad stuff out and the good stuff in. If you want to overcome discouragement, boundaries are vital. We’re all either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis, or headed for a crisis—is it just part of living life.
But, we can choose how we react to whatever life throws at us, including discouragement. When you equip yourself with the proper defenses, you can overcome it and live the life you were made to live.
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!