Busy Mom Tips

Hopefully by now you have settled into a routine after the back to school craziness.  Are you wishing you could put an “out of order” sign on your head and run away?  Thank you to The Peaceful Mom for the inspiration for today’s blog…

Are you searching for a way to get it all done and stay sane?  Do you wonder if it is even possible to do that?  Is your to-do list growing while your time seems to be slipping away?

I know my daughter is grown but I do still run into days like this.  I think I still suffer from the same overwhelm I did so many years ago juggling work, business and family.  Here are some tips from the Peaceful Mom and me.

#1 – KICK MOM GUILT TO THE CURB

It is okay if you don’t get everything done.  Let me repeat “it is okay NOT to get everything done”!  Some things can wait.  Yup, I still suffer with mom guilt.  🙂  The best way for me to get things done is to set THREE tasks a day as my top priority.  I used to do this when Belinda was growing up.  Picking just one or two things to get done during the week while I was working full-time and being mom taxi.  I seemed to forget how well it worked until a business coach, Desiree Wolfe suggested the same thing for my business.

Some tasks can wait, it all depends on what needs attention at the moment. I have started using my Passion Planner for more then just keeping track of office hours, weekly to dos, business stuff and medical appointments.  I am using it to list my 3 things for the day.  I love the fact it has space to make lots of notes  as well as a spot to celebrate “good things which happened”.  Now, I am sure you could accomplish more than 3 things in a day BUT for those days when getting 3 things done is a struggle, you will want to have this system in place.  Sometimes the list looks like this:

Yup, when brain fog sets in, this could be my list of things to do.  The biggest accomplishment is no losing my temper and on some days it is a true miracle.

#2 THINK TINY

Do you have “time pockets”?  You know the 5 or 10 minutes while you are waiting for the kids in the school line or washing some dishes as you cook dinner.  I like the term “time pockets” instead of multi-tasking.  Pick a task to do while you are waiting (one which will only take a few minutes)… waiting for the kids, waiting in line to check out, waiting for your gas task to be filled.  How many time pockets do you have and how can you fill them to get more things done?

#3 – CHOOSE YOUR TOOLS

Busy moms need practical, functional tools to stay on top of all the details. Let’s face it we are not only juggling our own stuff but things for the entire family.  I use a paper planner, the calendar app on my phone and Notes on my phone.  I talked about my Passion Planner.  It is where I dream big, set my goals and priorities then create a weekly plan to pull it all together.  I use my smart phone calendar to set notifications and keep track of appointments because it is linked to my iPad and my MAC.  The benefit of Google Calendar is you can keep everyone’s stuff organized then share it with everyone across all devices.  You need to find a system which works for YOU.

#4 – MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOURSELF

I take time each week to plan for the upcoming week. My planning time is Sunday evening and I plan out:

  • My Calendar: Set the goals, projects and top priority tasks for the week and time block on my calendar.  I also prep for the week for posting on all of my business pages with CinchShare.
  • Meals:  Planning for meals is a BIG help for busy moms.  Since I only cook twice a week, it is not tops on my list.  
  • Money:  This is now part of my Sunday night routine.  Review the bills which need to be paid and figure out what the budget will be for the week.  

When you take the time to plan, you will find the week goes some much smoother.  Include scheduling the planning time on your calendar so you don’t make excuses.

#5 – BUDDY UP

Carpooling can be a life saver for the busy mom.  Team up with someone to share the mom taxi role.  You take the kids to practice, she picks them up.  You watch her kids so she can run errands and then swap so she watches yours.  Remember we don’t have to do it ALL!  Teaming up with other moms gives everyone a break.  No help?  Why not limit your kids extra activities and your extra commitments.  No, it won’t make you a bad parent!  

The BIGGEST tip is to remember what is really important and stop obsessing over little things.  For many years, I felt guilty for leaving Belinda a daycare from the time she was 6 weeks old BUT when things came together and I was able to quit my job to work at home, I realized what was important.  She didn’t remember spending days at daycare when she remembers (I hope) is the time we spent together while she was in HS and my schedule was flexible.

Remember you are doing the best you can do with everything on your plate.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Grow Your Confidence – Part 2

Last week, I talked about growing your self confidence and I received a lot of feedback.  I won’t say i am surprised because despite all of the overwhelmingly positive posts on Facebook and Instagram, there are people who struggle. They struggle with standing tall and proud letting their sparkle shine through.

So here are a few more things which might help you boost your confidence…

1. Take some time for personal care.   I will admit, I am the worst at this.  When I am feeling yuk, all I want to do is lay around in my sweats.  The truth is, we should really nudge ourselves to do something for us.  Now, I don’t mean spend a fortune. How about pulling out your favorite shaving cream and shaving those legs? The warmer weather is coming.  How about deep conditioning your hair? Or even soaking in a bubble bath?  Pamper yourself with something you enjoy doing for you. Give yourself permission to enjoy life. Giving yourself permission to relax and even PLAY, will pay you back ten fold.  You will gradually change your mindset so the fun times come more naturally.

2. Visualize and Reframe.  This is going to sound a little crazy since I always talk about how important positive thinking is BUT believe me it works.  Take a few minutes to reflect on the problems you are facing in your life. Feel the feelings associated with the problem.  Do you naturally assume the worst – let’s REFRAME the problem and the solution!  Nothing is hopeless but when you believe it is, all you will feel is unhappiness and that you are a failure.

So, I want you to pick one problem and look at it in a new light by recreating a positive outcome.  I know it can be tough but you can do it.  Imagine a positive solution and really feel the feeling of the new positive ending to your story. Now, make the new ending happen!

3. Make a List of Your Positive Attributes.  Yes you do have them.  We all do even if we don’t always see them.  For many years, I heard “you are your own worst enemy” and I know I am not alone.  It is time to make a list of your positive gifts (physical and mental). We need to find an inner love for ourselves, instead of looking to others for approval.  I struggled with this exercise for years and then with the help of a friend, I reached out to several close friends and asked for their help.  I asked them to describe me in just 3 words.  I was blown away by the response. Once I wrote them all together, I put them into positive mantras I could repeat until I really started to believe them…

4. Fake it till you make it.   I know this sounds easy and hard to believe it actually works, but trust me it is easy and it does work. Remember those negative thoughts like:”This day sucks”, “I feel ugly” or “I am not good enough” guess what? Those thoughts radiate and everyone knows how you are feeling.  You need to keep your thoughts in check, so when the negative self talk creeps back up- proclaim the opposite. This will help you to build your self worth cause the negative inner gremlins can get pretty sneaky.

5. Get enough sleep.   I know as busy women, who has time for a good’s night sleep, right?  What is the definition of a good night’s sleep?  Is it 5 hours or maybe less?  Maybe it means a night when the kids aren’t climbing in your bed.  When you are tired and your body is run down, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Your body is dragging, and the negative inner gremlins are ready to rear their ugly heads. As much as you may hate to hear it, your body needs a solid 6-8 hours of sleep – peaceful uninterrupted sleep. I used to live on about 5 hours then age creeped in and health struggles.  I am grateful my hubby got me into a routine of at least 7 hours of sleep.  There are days when I get less but I can tell because my sparkle dulls just a little.  I know it is not always easy but find a happy medium for you so you have the energy to fight off those nasty gremlins.

I would love to hear from you and know what you do to boost your confidence on those tough days.  

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Are You Being Seen?

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Sounds like a strange question, right?  Aren’t we are all seen by someone?   But are we really letting people “see us” – the true us or are we letting them see the face we put on because of who “we think” they want to see?

It is hard to let ourselves be seen. To open ourselves up and let go of the fear of judgment, the fear of failure, and that dreadful fear of what people will think of us.  It is important for us to let others SEE us because it frees us from the fears that are holding us back from showing our true awesomeness.  It lets our gifts shine through.  It STOMPS on those inner gremlins that make us think small.

Want to overcome those issues of being small?  It will take a little bit of work BUT it can be done.  I lived with not wanting to be seen for years.  I let my need to people-please keep me from sharing my gifts and talents.  That has changed over the last year or so and these are the steps that helped me:

Step #1. Know, really KNOW, that you are unbelievably awesome.

We need to build your self-confidence.  I know it is easier said then done, right?  I have been there.  If you aren’t there yet, just have faith that you are indeed awesome.  I BELIVE in you.  My favorite thing to do when I am feeling “less than” is to CELEBRATE my accomplishments – no matter how small.  It could be getting up in the morning and taking a shower.  Make a list of your strengths, gifts and talents.  Keep them handy so that you can act on them!  Set small doable goals and make sure you achieve them!

Step #2. Give yourself some compassion.

You know that we judge ourselves the hardest, right?  Give your self a break.  Every time you start to judge yourself, read your strengths and gifts.  Give yourself some love and space. It’s okay!  Be nice to YOU, you so deserve it!  This may take some practice but baby steps will help.  Practice a little self-care – a bubble bath, a cup of that “special” coffee or tea.  When you feel special, it will be easier to show yourself some compassion.

Step #3. Let go.

Yes, I am singing the words to FROZEN.  Do  you know how amazing it feels to “let go” of caring excessively about how others see you? OMG!  It is an amazing feeling and life changing.  When you realize that you are changing your behavior based on how someone else might see you, breathe…and tell yourself to let go. It’s so powerful.  We have very little control over how others see us.  If we let fear run our lives, we’re giving the fear and that person power over us.  Don’t you want to control your own life?

Wouldn’t you rather be uncomfortable for a few minutes then let Negative Nelly control the rest of your life?  How many of your dreams will never be reached?  How many people will miss out on your gifts and talents because of this fear?

 

 

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Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

You Are AWESOME!

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Happy Monday!  I am so excited because TOMORROW I will be picking up Belinda and Ashley at the airport.  They will be spending Christmas with us – a whole 6 days!

As the holiday week kicks off, we are grateful for a short work week and many of us are looking forward to spending time with family.  Then there are others who are stressed out trying to be PERFECT or to have the PERFECT holiday.  Here are some facts that you should remember courtesy of Austin Blood:

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.  

2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. They aren’t lying.  

3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.

4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.

5. You should DEFINITELY have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way that others see you, you would.

6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.

7. It’s okay to not love every part of your body…but you should.

8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.

9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.

10. You’re a woman. And that alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.

I know you are probably wondering what drew me to this list, right?  STOP for a minute and think about each one of these as it relates to you.  In the craziness of life, how many times have one of these inner gremlins creeped in to steal your JOY?

I could identify with a few of these and I am blessed to have a tribe of women who remind me on a regular basis to CELEBRATE who I am today.  If you don’t have someone to remind you how awesome you are – let me be that person.

Don’t worry if there aren’t a lot of presents under the tree – it is truly the thought the counts.  It is the love behind the gift that really matters.

Don’t worry if the cookies are burnt or the meal is not fancy.  Be grateful that you were able to cook a meal and had someone to share it with.

In a world filled with death and destruction, CELEBRATE who you are and treasure the moments.  We each have our own talents that need to be shared with others.  From a smile across the room to a “thank you” to someone holding the door.  From an offering of a cup of coffee to someone in need or a random act of kindness.  You can ENCOURAGE others.

If no one has told you today, let me be the one who says – YOU ARE 

sparkle awesome

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Using Comparison to Grow

“Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” ~Scottish Proverb

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TGIF!  Over the last week my news feed has been flooded with pictures from Thirty One’s Leadership Incentive Trip at the Riveria Maya.  It has stirred a lot of emotions in me for a variety of reasons.  First, I didn’t earn the trip.  I came close but fell short.  I was okay because I had done my best.  The truth was, even if I did earn it, I couldn’t have gone – life at home just wouldn’t have allowed it.  Instead of embracing the fact that it was in the past, the inner gremlins started to chirp.

Instead of feeling empowered, moving forward, ready to earn this year’s trip; feelings of being less than started to creep in.  I told my hubby that I was going to stop looking at Facebook to avoid the pictures.  My inner gremlins had started to play the comparison game wanting to keep me stuck and my business floundering.

In an effort to drown out the gremlins, I committed to making changes in my life, my behavior, and my attitude.  I embraced who I was and who I was going to become.  The truth is that when we play the comparison game, we don’t know anyone else’s story. We base our assumptions only on what we see, which is a pretty shaky foundation.

Here are some things to do instead of comparing yourself to others courtesy of tiny buddha.

1. Believe in yourself.

You are a beautiful, amazing human being. You were put on this Earth to do something unique. We all are. Believe you have a purpose and a mission in this life, whether it’s big or small. If you don’t believe it, then no one else will either. There are few people who will love you unconditionally. You should strive to be one of them.

2. Own your journey.

The truth is that you are not on the same path as everyone else. Though some may be similar, every person has a different journey. Embrace yours.  Stop comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle. You have no idea how much this person struggled or how hard they worked to get where they are. Stay focused on your own path and forge ahead.

3. Find your awesome.

Comparison brings negativity with lots of “should of, could of, would of” talk.  Remember, you are unique and awesome.  Write a list of amazing things about yourself and put it where you can see it daily. Read it to yourself all the time.

4. Feel the fear.

Celebrate your fear.  Most negativity comes from a place of fear. Fear of failure, success, looking silly, or being judged.  Did you know that the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is their ability to see the fear and continue anyway.  Identify your fear. Then ask yourself what’s the worse that could happen. The results are probably not as bad as you think.

Comparison comes from a place of lack. If you find yourself doing this often, figure out what’s missing and where you can improve.

Chances are, the person you’re comparing yourself to is reflecting something back that needs expansion. Pay attention and trust yourself. There’s always a deeper meaning. Figure out what it is, so you can move forward.

I would love to hear about YOUR awesomeness or maybe you want to share your fear.  Share your comments with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!