What Makes You Special?

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Today is WOOHOO Wednesday and we are going to CELEBRATE your uniqueness or those qualities that make you special.   I was inspired today to talk about this after reading a blog post by Lynette Barbieri.

If I asked you to tell me “what makes you special?“, could you do it?

It would be a struggle for me – shocking for some, I am sure.   Growing up, I didn’t want to be unique – I just wanted to fit in.  I didn’t want to be “special” because that meant that I wasn’t popular.  I didn’t know what was special about me.  I didn’t have that feeling in my gut that told me how great I was.  I wanted to hide in a corner and not be seen.  I lived that way for many years.  Then I started to squash those inner gremlins and embrace the positives qualities that are deep in my core.

In direct sales, I  often hear that you want to stand out from the pack.  I mean with thousands of consultants in your company, why would someone pick you above anyone else.  Why would they stay faithful to you?  I honestly didn’t know.  I always knew that I had a special purpose but I never knew how to express it.  Was being a good listener special?  How about helping others? Or giving to others even when you don’t have it?  I am crafty but is that special?  I can play (or used to) the piano, what is so special about that?

I am learning that all of those things are the qualities that draw people to me.  I am resourceful able to connect people with resources.  I get along with people from all different backgrounds.  I am passionate, and caring.  I want to make people smile.  I have lots of “stuff” (information) in my head but I don’t always know how to share it – just ask and I will share all I know.

The truth is that I may not believe that I have greatness inside of me BUT I DO believe that you have greatness in YOU!

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So, what about you?  What are your strengths?  I know I keep going back to that but when we lock into what those are, it will help us know where we are going.  We have to be willing to take risks to discover our purpose and to achieve greatness.  A life without risk is boring, right?

Maybe you know what your greatness is and you are afraid to share it?  You don’t have to hide it.  You don’t have to deny it.  You don’t have to worry about what other people say or think.  You need to OWN IT!

At a Leadership retreat, my mantra became “Own My Journey“.  Because the truth was that I was trying to follow everyone else’s journey.  I need and so do you to “own your journey” so that we can grow into the people sharing our gifts along with the way.  We all have our own journey.  What other people think is none of our business.

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As Vanessa Coppes, refers to it “your shining  light”!  By working with both of these ladies, I started to see my shining light and I learned that I need to let it shine more!

So, ladies, never let anyone dim that light.  Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

What makes you special? I would love to hear it! Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Fear is Growth

“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.” ~Unknown

This quote is so powerful.  Think about what your greatest fear is or was.  I don’t mean the fear of spiders or of roller coasters. I don’t even mean the fear of losing a loved one.  I mean what is your deep down deepest fear.  What is the thing that keeps your from reaching your full potential?

A tough question especially for a Friday when you are thinking about the weekend and relaxing, right?

If you can’t think of something you are afraid of, think about a fear that you overcame.  Maybe it was speaking in front of a group.  Maybe it was confronting someone who said or did something unkind to you.  Maybe it was stepping out of your comfort zone.  Maybe it was leaving an unhealthy relationship.  We have all conquered fear at one time or another – large or small.

Fear can be a paralyzing thing.  It can take you from confident and self-assured to a pit of misery and self-destruction.  It can create a mental suffering that effects every aspect of your life.  Fear can take a strong woman and reduce her into a self-pitying, vulnerable little person.

Now that you remember that fear that you conquered, think about how good it felt when you overcame it.  When you stepped out of your comfort zone and succeeded.  When you spoke in front of the group and were applauded.  When you left the unhealthy relationship and gained your life back.

How did you feel?  Did you feel like you left a heavy weight behind?  Did you feel like you had just won one of the hardest battles and now it was over?  Did you feel as light as a feather?

Do you feel stuck in the past or terrified of the future?  Is there a fear that is keeping you from being all you can be?

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Here are some lessons I have learned that might help you in your battle against fear.

1. Take responsibility for your feelings.

We live our lives thinking others cause our discomfort and unhappiness. When the truth is that YOU are the writer of your own story.  Take responsibility for feelings like anger, sadness, or jealousy.  It may be difficult, but the truth is that no one else can control what you think or feel.

2.  Deal with the present moment.

You may dislike the way a certain person or situation makes you feel and you can try to distance yourself from it, but you can’t distance yourself from your own feelings. Where you go, they go.  Ignoring your emotions won’t make them go away.  Create a healthy output for unwanted emotions (i.e.: dancing, painting, writing, singing), you will be amazed at how it changes your perspective.

3. Trust fear.

Fear only exists within the mind; it does not exist in the world outside of us. It’s an imaginary barrier we create for ourselves, a barrier that usually appears right before something great is ready to take place in our lives.  When we make the choice to confront our fears there is a reward waiting on the other side. 

So, what fear are you ready to conquer so that you can move forward in the New Year?

FEAR

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Talk in Front of a Group? YIKES!

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My Throwback Thursday picture is with the AMAZING Mark Miller during our tour of Home Office.

As a Director with Thirty One, you would think that I enjoy public speaking – WRONG!  I have always said “I’m not good at speaking in front of groups” or “I don’t like to talk in front of people”.  Guess what – the Universe heard “good at speaking in front of groups” and “like talking in front of people”.  So, I am asked to speak to groups a lot.  PLUS, I am in the home party business which means I talk in front of people all of the time.  Crazy, right?  I learned that from the amazing book The Secret.  If you haven’t read it – you need to.

So, I have been working on my speaker voice because I am in the party plan business and guess what, we need to talk in front of people.  So, here are some tips that I picked up along with way that helped me:

1. Build your confidence.

I know you are thinking, if I was confident I wouldn’t mind speaking in front of people, right?  So, the question is do believe that you are good in what you do? Do you believe in your product and/or your company’s mission statement?  If so, share your passion.  It may not look like someone else’s presentation.  It may not have games.  It is YOU being YOU and sharing with your heart.  I have an outline that I follow so that I don’t forget things because I can easily squirrel but it depends on the group how things flow.  I love the products.  I LOVE the company. I love the change that it made in my life.  So, the only thing I needed to do to gain more confidence was practice.

2. Look at yourself on the mirror.

This is a tough one for me.  I think video taping is better so that you can watch what you are doing at the end.  Professional speakers will tell you that if you want to improve your speaking skills, then you should practice in front of the mirror. Whether it is in front of a mirror or in a video, you want to see how you look while doing your talk. Then you can see whether you need to improve your stance, the way you open your mouth, and the expression of your eyes.

3. Listen to yourself.

“Practice makes perfect”, right?  Well, we don’t need perfection but you want your your audience to have a pleasant experience listening and watching you, right?   You should also listen to your voice.  Is it too loud?  Is it too soft?  Do you sound confident in your product and your company?  Practicing your speech countless times can help. Record your voice, and then listen to it, so that you can really hear how your voice sounds to your audience.  This is why I like a video so that you can capture both the visual and the verbal.

The most important thing is to be yourself and let YOUR light shine.  People can tell when we are not being try to ourselves.  “Fake it till you make it” is a great way to play a “part” while you are gaining that confidence.  It doesn’t mean not being true to yourself, it just means playing the role of confident presenter until you feel the confidence.

Keep bringing your special voice to your customers and the people around you.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!