The Last 90 Days…

 

SURPRISE!!!  This is not about the actual past 90 days but about how I plan to do things differently in the next 90 days so I can end the year on a different note…

If you haven’t heard of Rachel Hollis yet, you must be living under a rock!  LOL!  I am reading her book “Girl Wash Your Face” again and loving it!  I was introduced (not personally) to this amazing women by my pink bubble sisters and I have to say, I wasn’t sure I could jump on the bandwagon…. WHY?

Damn MS has taken a lot of my processing abilities away along with my memory!
Occasionally, I get glimpses into the mind I once had, when things seem to be clicking again. These moments are reminders of a time (since passed) when my cognitive abilities got me  through grant writing, managing a non-profit, being a single mom and creating programs to help make a difference in the lives of others.  I was blessed to have those abilities and be able to share them with others.  Now, after years (yup memory loss has been going on for about 5 years) of battling with cognitive dysfunction (a fancy term for memory loss) because of Multiple Sclerosis, I have fewer moments when my brain feels like it’s clear and working like it did.  Of all of the symptoms I’ve experienced because of MS, the loss of memory is the the one which bothers me the most.

So what does all of this have to do with the last 90 days?  Instead of focusing on what should of, would of or could have happened, I’m taking baby steps into being the best me I can be right now!

I have told myself countless lies which I actually started to believe them about being less then and not deserving of good things.  WHY?  Because those nasty inner gremlins of my past addictive personality were raging their ugly head.  I couldn’t see the good happening around me because the trees of negativity were growing fast and furious.

Instead of beating myself up on the days I can’t get things done, I am embracing the things I can get done.  Some days, it is just getting up, taking a shower and plopping in the chair watching mindless TV.  Then there are days when I am awake at 4:30AM, ready to ride the stationary bike for a half hour before getting into my office to get to work.  Really, it does happen!

So, when the #last90day challenge was issued by my pink bubble sister, Hope Shortt, during a leadership call – I JUMPED in.  Not literally because I was filled with fear and doubt.  As others expressed their fears, I knew we could overcome them if we banded together – set goals and cast the vision out into the universe.

As you can tell, today is a good day!  The brain is running at full speed and I am rambling on about things which hopefully will help someone else.  I need to remember to not worry about tomorrow, and to stay in the moment.  I need to not kick myself with regrets for things not done yesterday, I need to stay in the moment.

My cognitive problems can either be my demise or I can consider them a blessing.  Honestly, there are days I beat myself up, apologize profusely and wallow on the pity pot because of my cognitive problems.  As I reflect on why I stopped working in a job I loved, the truth is the struggles were taking a toll on my health.  Could I admit it then, nope!  Who would have thought the memory problems I was having were related to the lesions on my brain?  Let alone end in a diagnosis of MS.

I am learning to embrace the  “fog” in my head when it happens.  Working my own business allows for those days.  I have moments when I’m not thinking clearly or logically (some would wonder if I ever did).  I do puzzles and games on those days to help stimulate my brain to think differently.  There are days when things flow smoothly – yup, it happens, but it’s unpredictable.

For the #last90days, I’m going to try each day to be a better version of ME.  I’m not going to get frustrated when getting interrupted means completely losing my thought process or what I’m doing. I will embrace my GPS even when I think I should know where I am going (yup, I forget directions).  I will stop thinking of the person who excelled at multitasking and embrace the person who sometimes can’t even have another sound in the background when trying to work or write.

Yup, I squirreled (maybe even a lot) but the whole idea is about making a change in the last 90 days of 2018!  Why is it so important?  Because when I set my goals at the start of 2019, I want to know I am already on my way to reaching them.  It is time to kick it up a notch to finish the year strong, meeting the goals I set in January 2018 so 2019 does not look like a repeat of 2018.

So, who wants to join me on the #last90days?  Don’t worry about the big goals, work on just these 5 things:

  1. Get up an hour earlier than you normally do and use this time for YOU!
  2. Workout at least 30 minutes
  3. Drink half your body weight in water
  4. Give up ONE food category you shouldn’t be eating
  5. Write down 10 things you are grateful for each day

When you do these things, you will be amazed at the difference in makes in your life.  Have faith and JUMP into this journey with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

What Dream Do You Need to Revive?

Are there dreams you have given up on?  I don’t mean the one you had when you were a child to be a ballerina or a super hero?  I mean the ones you had as an adult. Maybe FEAR and doubt got in the way.  Maybe life got in the way – taking care of everyone else so you let the dream fade.

I will admit, I have let dreams fade over the last few years.  Life definitely got in the way – health issues caused me to struggle and doubt whether any of it was possible.  But the dreams are slowly starting to resurface.  I have faced some of my fears and am struggling through a vision casting process.

Vision casting is when you place yourself in the moment of the dream becoming a reality.  You let go of all fear, doubt and negativity while you enjoy and FEEL the moment.  My director did this with me many years ago – the year I promoted to Director.  As she shared the story with a hundred other women on a call last week, the tears came back to me.  I remembered the moment we broke through and I could actually feel what the moment would be like.  It was a miracle on many counts because I actually remembered the conversation AND I was inspired to dream again.

Think about this for a minute:

You are the only person who can decide to pursue your dream. Books don’t write themselves. Businesses don’t launch themselves. You’ve got to take the first step and keep stepping.

So, let’s talk about how YOU can dust off the dream and bring it back to life…..

1. What dream is sleeping in your life you wish were still a possibility?

Have you buried your dream so deep you forget about it?  Think about it for a moment. The dream which needs to be awakened could be connected to your professional life, your finances, a relationship,  your health, or your personal life. What is the dream for you right now? Write it down!

2. What do you need to give yourself permission to do it?

We bury things which are important for a variety of reasons.  Whatever reason made you bury the dream, it’s time to give yourself permission to dream again.  It’s okay.  Were you hurt and decided it was safer not to go down a certain road anymore?  Did naysers convince you it wasn’t possible?   Did responsibilities in life dictate it was better to let your dream die?  Or did the dream seem impossible to achieve, so you gave up?  Whatever your reason, use the past as a learning tool to recast your dream. Have the faith to believe nothing is impossible.

3. What do you need to say about it?

Speak life into your dream NOW!  Remember “The Secret” and positive attraction?  Say your dream out loud.  Hear the words, I mean really hear them!  Attract the positive, not the negative!  Share your dream with someone else!  Then observe how you talk about it.  When you state all the reasons you can’t have what your heart desires, you speak negativity (death) to your dream.  Each negative word is like a shovel, digging the grave and then piling dirt onto it until you can no longer see your dream. Negative words will steal your vision.  Are you going to let “words” steal your dream?

4. What action will you take next?

Did you know we kill our dreams with inaction?  When you don’t make any steps, even baby ones, towards the dream, you have sentenced it to death.  The best way to revive your dream is to take some action.  Never stop believing your dream is possible,.  As long as you are taking steps towards it, it is!  Don’t put a time frame on it.  Just continue to step towards it and things will start to happen. Start with one small step, then another. Even baby steps, when taken consistently, will get you to the finish line.

I challenge you to dust off your old dream and give it new life.  Whether you use the questions above or vision cast – let yourself dream again.  My dream is to promote to Senior Director with Thirty One and be a member of the Gives Council.  TWO BIG dreams which are really scary but I’m not letting go of them this time.

Share your BIG scary dream with us!  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Seven Years and No Itch!

The sevenyear itch is a psychological term suggesting happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven.  I know it usually applies to a marriage BUT for some I think it pertains to their business or their jobs.  When I was working in the non-profit world, I would get the “itch”.  I needed a change.  I wanted something new.  I wanted excitement.

Why am I talking about the “seven-year itch”?  No, I am not thinking of changing direct sales companies.  No, my marriage is great – we haven’t hit the 7 year mark yet.  LOL.

Today is my seventh anniversary with Thirty One.

Struggling with trying to remember BUT grateful I have blogged about this before.  Here is how the story goes…..

See, the truth is I joined Thirty One in 2009 and didn’t do much with it.  Yup, I was a kitknapper. I had a few sales but nothing much and it wasn’t long before I went inactive.

I can’t remember exactly how or why it all happened – God had a plan.  I started following Hope Shortt on Facebook and I read her story.  On February 7th, 2011, I talked with her and told her I wanted to join her Thirty One team. She asked me “what my why” was?  Kind of the standard question when someone joins your team…

I was nervous and being a “people pleasing person” I told her I wanted to earn some extra money.  I had a good job – Chief Operating Officer for a non-profit and who had time for much of anything else.  BUT the truth was, deep down I had a big dream but fear and doubt crept in along with Negative Nellie so I stuffed it down deep.  I started sharing the products at vendor/craft shows, not wanting to do home parties and really not interested in having a team.   Recruiting wasn’t an option because I joined the day before the FREEZE. No, not the weather although it was cold; Thirty One froze enrollment because they were growing so fast.  I was relieved. I had been doing craft/ vendor shows for over 20 years, so it was going to be easy. Hope listened and said she would be there to help when I needed her. No pressure just support and kindness.2014-08-09-18-17-48-4

So started my journey with Thirty One.  I did LOTS of vendor events. Still NO home parties.  Fear and doubt kept me company.   I didn’t have much confidence – I know amazing, right?  This was so far out of my comfort zone.

I got my first TWO potential recruits during the freeze.  I was honest with both of them from the start,  I was going to be learning along with them. Believe it or not, they still joined as soon as the freeze lifted and quickly qualified with $1,000 in sales.  I was now a Senior Consultant. YIKES!  I wasn’t sure what it meant but it was okay.  I was having fun and slowly building confidence.  Then my first home office lead wanted a HOME PARTY! Panic set in… it was someone I didn’t know and I was clueless.  I stumbled my way through it – no additional booked parties or recruits but I had sales and it was kind of fun.

My FIRST Thirty One National Conference was August of 2012.  It was there I set a goal and decided tout my dream on paper and go for Leadership. The goal was to be Director BEFORE National Conference 2013. The stats say those who go to national conference earn more – TRUE! Those who go to national conference – PROMOTE – TRUE! In October, 2012 I DIQed and in January 2013, I earned my $1,000 Director Bonus.  I had gained confidence as a consultant but being a Director brought new fears and challenges.

At National Conference 2013 along with my daughter and members of the Rays of Hope Team. I walked across stage and was CELEBRATED as a NEW Thirty One Director. Tears of joy flowed freely all weekend and continue each time I think back to the moment. Hope Shortt, my National Executive Director, hugged me on stage.  I struggle with memories but the emotion of walking across the stage stays with me bringing me to tears each time I think of it.

Since then my why has changed so much. I no longer work full-time and we rely on my Thirty One business as the second income in the house.  It pays bills and allows us to travel a little bit.  It allows me to work from home as I struggle some days with my MS.

I sometimes struggle with my “why” and learning to DREAM BIG. I still get nervous before a Home party.  I continue to work on personal development because inner gremlins still on occasionally haunt me.  I am blessed with a sisterhood across the country who helps me when I am struggling, who celebrates with me and who encourages me when the struggle is real.  My team continues to grow and inspires me everyday.  They accept me for who I am and have helped me to learn to love me for me.

I would say the biggest blessing from my Thirty One business is the confidence I gained which was lost when I was in HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, I earn FREE products! Yes, I am paying off debt & travel as a result of my commission checks!  Yes, I found a sisterhood I didn’t know existed in my Thirty One sisters! Yes, I have grown in my walk with God, learning to trust and believe his will will be done in my business!

The seven year itch and some vision casting with the Beacon of Hope Team (my upline’s team) had helped me to focus on my why again.  To Make a Difference in as many lives as possible while becoming debt free.  I am being intentional in all I do this year.  I know it is only February but January was a good start…. now to keep moving forward.

A $99 pink box almost seven years ago, CHANGED MY LIFE. Could it be the thing which changes yours?  Till February 28th, you can also join for $1 and I will help you get started…. which would you pick?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Confidence is Within Your Reach

Confident by definition is “feeling or showing self-assured; and feeling or showing certainty about something.”  Have you ever felt your confidence slipping?  Fear and doubt creeps in?  Those nasty inner gremlins play with your emotions?

I have a choice – it is time to make a decision and take action.  Time to stop wallowing in self-pity.  Time to find the independent confident woman I was.  Time to STOMP on those inner gremlins.  Yes, there may be tears.  Yes, there may be angry moments.  But in the end, all will be well.  God has a plan for me and I need to have faith.

I looked back at an article I read on the Direct Sales Education Foundation‘s website about “Finding Confidence“.  Yes, I need to hit “RESET” periodically because those nasty gremlins find their way past the closed (or what I thought was sealed) doors.

Has “self confidence” been a struggle for you?  I know I am always talking about it but I but I am often surprised by the people who share they lack confidence.  On the outside they appear strong, capable of overcoming anything while on the inside they are fighting the same inner gremlins many of us do.   Here are some of the tips which might help:

  • Practice makes perfect.   We have all heard this a million times growing up – from sports to school to musical instruments.  As I got older, practicing seemed silly.  I was a fan of winging it but have found when I do, my confidence is sometimes shaken.  “My mission is to bring a smiles and paychecks to those who are struggling and love #ThirtyOneGifts as much as I do!” Something simple but definitely worth practicing.  My party scripts are becoming a little bit more natural too since I have been practicing.  Practice may not make me perfect but it will help to build confidence.
  • Find a mentor.  I have an amazing upline, Hope Shortt has been supportive and knows just when to challenge me.  Find someone who you want to be like, ask them if you can shadow them.  Find someone who you can trust and respect and build a relationship.  I also am blessed to have Desiree Wolfe in my corner.  Her kick in the butt is what I need sometimes.
  • Find a partner.  Find a close friend, family member or even your spouse who can share in your accomplishments and help to bolster your confidence.
  • Dress for success.  This is something else I have heard since my college days.  Wear something which makes you feel good when you go to a presentation or a meeting.  It should fit well and be put together with accessories and hair style.  Someone asked me the other day if I had a makeover.  I was THRILLED.  No, not a formal one but I did in my head.  How?  Hair style instead of just hair hanging straight.  Out of my jeans for meetings and into a pair of khakis (capris right now) with a nice shirt and jewelry.  Makeup.  I never leave the house without some.  You never know who you will run into on the trip to the grocery store to grab a gallon of milk.
Simple tips but for those of us who have a small comfort zone, this is a BIG deal.  Things I have heard for years but thought I was “too old”.  You can teach an old dog new tricks – really!  Are you ready to challenge yourself?  Try one of these tips, if not all of them.  DREAM BIG!  The sky is the limit.
Time to accept your strengths and weaknesses. Challenges will come but it is how we deal with them which makes the difference in the end.  Time to be confident in myself and how I want my life to be.
How do you find your confidence?  Please share, I would love to hear and at the same time, you may help someone else.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Throwback Thursday: So You Want to be a Leader?

June starts a new “fiscal year” with Thirty One and I am sure it is the same with many direct sales companies.  It is when I start looking back, not just at the past year but at my journey. It is when I start setting goals for myself for the new year.

Thirty One is offering an incredible opportunity right now….a chance to earn FREE Fall products AND up to $5000 in Disney bucks.

I love this incentive because the focus is on sharing the gift of Thirty One, NOT becoming a leader.  For some the word leader is scary.  I have heard it a million times, “I don’t want to be a leader”, “I don’t have the time”, “I won’t know what to do”, and the list goes on.  The BIGGEST tip I have given my team is: just share the gift of Thirty One and stop focusing on whether or not you will (or won’t) be a leader.  Have fun.  Help others. Share the excitement and the love.  The rest will fall into place.

This is a blog I wrote back in June, 2013.  I had only been a Director with Thirty One for about 8 months.  The thing is, this is still true today:

I never thought of myself as a leader, let alone a great leader.  I have always been a “behind” the scenes girl.  When attention was drawn to the work I did, I backed away and gave credit to bosses or those on my team, anyone else but me since I did not like being in the spotlight.  When I made the official decision to go into leadership with my Direct Sales company – the thought terrified me (and still does sometimes).  What did I know about being a leader?  I didn’t want to let anyone down – my up-line, my team, my family or friends.   I have been a “people pleaser” most of my life, a follower and not a leader.   

An interesting quote by Direct Selling Education Foundation said “the more others respect you as a leader, the more successful your business will be.”  

Here are some basic tips to help you to be a LEADER:

  1. Keep your word.  This is a basic concept for life.  If you give someone your word, it should mean something.
  2. Be inclusive, welcoming and make others feel safe.  If you do not get this kind of support from you company sponsor or director, find someone in the company who makes you feel this way.  I have been blessed with an AMAZING Sponsor (National Executive Director) Hope Shortt.  I want to be like her when I grow up.  Yes, I am much older than her but she is a leader I would follow to the ends of the earth.  I want my team to feel the same way. 
  3. Encourage creative thinking.  This used to be hard for me, in my years in the non-profit world, as a Program Director.  I lacked confidence in myself so it was difficult to encourage creative thinking in my staff.  As I grew, so did they and so did my ability to encourage “outside of the box” thinking.  I encourage my team to build their business with a solid foundation of company standards (home parties, etc) and then get creative.  Make their business – THEIR business.  Stand out from the crowd. 
  4. Allow people to share ideas and concerns.  My early management style was a dictator.  Fear, low self-esteem and lack of confidence had me instilling marshall law. As I got, older and squashed the inner gremlins, I learned to temper my demands and be open to suggestions.  I had a potential recruit come to a team training and share how she felt with my current party style.  It was not pretty.  WOW! In a room full of other consultants, it was a hard pill to swallow.  I listened and thanked her for her suggestions.  Yes, I quickly changed my party style so everyone is having fun (or at least I hope so).
  5. Support others and help them grow.  I tell everyone who joins my team, they not only get their kit but they get me.  I am there to help them in good times and bad.  It isn’t just about MY income or MY goals but it is about helping them reach their dreams – big or small.     
  6. Maintain an exciting and fun atmosphere.  In my past life, this was tough for me.  I was insecure and thought too much fun was a sign of bad management.  Over time, I found it was important to have a place people enjoyed working and coming to every day.  My team tells me all of the time – You are crazy!  I like to make things fun for them, get them excited and then they share the excitement with their customers and their teams.
  7. Hold others accountable for their actions.  I was a tough boss in the workplace but EVERYONE got treated the same – good or bad.  As a leader In direct sales, I struggle with holding my team accountable for their actions/ goals.  I am always afraid they will perceive it as being all about me (and my paycheck) instead of hemming them attain their goals.  I will alway encourage them and help them along the way. 

As I have said before, I originally fell into leadership (as a Senior Consultant) but then I made a conscious decision to be a leader.  I do a little each week to work on my personal development.  I know  if I focus on overcoming my challenges as a leader, I will be able to be a more effective one for my team.  What qualities do you think make a good leader?

Have a ThirtyOne -derful day!