Stop The Comparison Game

12414868-Stop-sign-illustration-Stock-Vector-noWOOHOO!  It is the weekend, okay, the start of it and it is Feel Good Friday!  The day when we squash those inner gremlins who want to keep you from being happy…

When was the last time you compared yourself to someone else?  Over the years, I’ve compared myself to others when it came to school, looks, money, my business and more. The first step in stopping the “comparison game” is to acknowledge it.  The truth is everyone has done it at one point in their life. The difference is what happens after the comparison…

Some people compare themselves to others to determine their personal value which usually ends up with us feeling like crap, right?  Negative thoughts bring more negative thoughts.  Or do you play the comparison game and get inspired.  Does it motivate you to change your situation?  Honestly, this doesn’t happen to most people and in the end results in more negative thoughts.  Either way, by comparing yourself to others, you are holding yourself back.

Sure, you may not be able to reach a goal as quickly as someone else or it may require more hard work, but it doesn’t mean everything is impossible for you. Everyone is on a different path, and there are people who are better or worse off than you.  Instead of comparing your path to those around you, why not focus on what you can do to make your dream a reality.

Here is how you can stop comparing yourself to others…..

#1 – Realize comparisons are often negative and most of the time they do not help.

As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Be happy for others and instead of feeling jealous be happy for their success of others.  Good things can happen to other people, it doesn’t mean your life is any less important or any less of a success.  By being happy for others, you’ll learn to accept yourself and let more positivity into your life.

#2 – Be motivated, not competitive.

Be inspired by other’s success or happiness. The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone, think about how you could possibly do something similar (if it’s what you truly want to do). Use others achievements as inspiration for your own life and goals.

#3 – Take a break from social media.

This is tough in today’s world so why not “stop following” those who you play the comparison game with.  I am still friends with some people BUT I don’t check their news feed for snipits of their wonderful life.  Social media can be fun but you are just seeing carefully selected pieces of someone’s life.

#4 – Be confident.

I compare myself to others because I tend to lack self confidence.  While I’m not as confident as I would like to be, I am getting better.  Gaining confidence can help you too.  Yes, you can learn to be more confident.  When you are confident, you will learn how to stop comparing yourself to others because you believe in yourself.

#5 Be positive and happy with who you are.happy dance

No matter how life may be going for you, I believe a positive outlook can help to improve your life. It’s all about being grateful for what you already have. Everyone experiences sadness, anger, being scared, etc., and sometimes it can be difficult to see the positive or to be happy in spite of the circumstances.  Negative thoughts keep you feeling stuck with the feeling like there is no way out of your problems, and zero options. While being positive helps you realize you are able to do things, you are in control of your life, and the little things will not kill you.  You will be able to move on and deal with stressful situations better.

#6 – No one is perfect.perfect1

Accept your past and present, realizing you can make changes for the future if you truly desire to do so.  You may be at the beginning of the journey while someone else is at the middle or end.  You don’t know what they’ve been through, so you can end the comparison game.

 

These things are sometimes easier said then done.  Pick one and focus on it if you can’t fathom doing them all at once.  Find YOUR dream, then figure our YOUR action plan.

How could you stop comparing yourself to others?

 

How the Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy Can Inspire You

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Franklin  Roosevelt

A new month.  A NEW catalog season.  A new beginning.  Time to reflect on July.  July was a tough month for me not because of my business – personal sales volume met as well as team numbers.  I was blessed to head to National Conference to enjoy the pink bubble with my Thirty One sisters.  So why was it a tough month???

I got sucked into the vortex of social media and the comparison gremlins started a new battle of whether I was a success.  As I scrolled through Instagram and Facebook, I saw countless celebrations of success.  I was happy for them because they had worked hard and deserved it.  The realization hit me that I really didn’t do my best.

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What started out innocently enough, in no time at all, had me sucked into the wormhole of comparison.  By the time I emerged, I felt like crap. I was JEALOUS with a capital “J.”  Yes, I said it!  In my heart, I knew that I couldn’t compare where I was to where they were – so many things were different but those inner gremlins were having a field day.

Others had more followers. More likes. Better websites. Better pictures. Better programs. Better style. Better everything.

imagesThe question then became “What am I doing with my life?”.  Part of me wanted to start a “pity party” because I was in full on green-eyed monster mode. I know that I’m not alone.

Research shows that people have an innate drive to evaluate themselves, often in comparison to others. People are as harshest critique and the one way we do this is through social comparison.

Two recent studies found that people on Facebook frequently have lower self-esteem than those who use Facebook less or not at all. Chronic Facebook users experience mostly negative impact from comparing themselves to others who are “better” than them.

As I look back on how I reacted to the social media black hole and jumped back into the real world, my jealousy got me thinking.

What if, instead of comparing myself to those I thought were “better”, I flipped the script and let comparison be an example of what’s possible?

If you’re naturally prone to comparing, what if you used comparison as a form of motivation?  Want to exercise your green-eyed monster demons with me? Here are a few tips:

1. Eliminating social media totally isn’t a reality for may of us, BUT try to minimize the time you spend on any social media platform.  Research says Americans check their social media 17 times per day. I bet we can get that number down.

2. Remember that most people are posting their most polished, shiny, and filtered part of their life.

3. Still feeling the urge to scroll and feel less than worthy because of it? Take a look at what you’re feeling.  Dig deep because the reason isn’t usually on the surface. Take the ick out of jealousy and look at it as a tool to help you figure out what you would like more of in your life.

4. Look at the person you envy and ask yourself, how am I like this person? When you see how you are like that person, you can see their success as a real possibility for you.

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” -Jon Acuff

This is my favorite saying and often hard to remember.  Reflect on where you’re at in your journey. Many times, we are comparing our beginning to someone else’s years of experience. We missed out on all of the hard work, time, and dedication that went behind the picture or post we’re seeing today.

How can you honor where you’re at in your life? How can you use this knowledge as inspiration for what’s possible for you when you reach your “middle”?  I’d love to hear from you! How do you handle comparison?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!