Before You Get Mad

Thank you Arlene Pellicane for today’s message:

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19 NIV

It was raining like crazy when I went to pick up my son from school. I had told him earlier to look for my car so I wouldn’t have to get out in the rain. I slipped into my ugliest, oldest flip flops. I was just planning to stay in the nice, dry car.

There was my son in plain sight. He walked towards me and then walked right…past…my…car! He made a U-turn but still missed me. I was so upset and exasperated. I got out of my car, embarrassed to be wearing my for-home-use-only flip flops, and yelled “ETHAN!!!” at the top of my lungs.

He finally saw me. I darted back to the car, totally unprepared for the downpour. In those few seconds, I talked to myself. I was very aware of how mad I was! “Calm down, don’t be mad. It’s not really a big deal.”

The first thing I said to Ethan was, “You made me get out in my flipper floppers!” which made us both laugh because I looked so ridiculous. I asked as calmly as possible, “Why didn’t you see my car?”

“I was expecting you to come in the van, but you came in the other car.”

Oh. That made sense. My anger which had risen so quickly like a thundercloud dissipated.

James wrote to us about the powerful emotion of anger, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

Notice one quick and two slows.

Quick to listen. Slow to speak and slow to become angry.

We can get that turned around. We can be slow to listen and quick to speak and quick to become angry. Before you get mad at your child, husband, friend, mom, or co-worker, take a deep breath. Think about one quick and two slows. Ask God to calm you down and to help you to listen.

“Slow to be angry” in the original Greek means “slow to boil.” We live in a microwave generation where many things move fast, almost instantly from blazing Internet connections to fast food. When it comes to getting angry, we are instructed to be more like a slow-cooking crock pot than a microwave.

This can be very difficult! As James writes, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8, NIV). Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit residing within us as our Teacher and Guide.

Please understand there is a place for right anger. You see Jesus’ righteous anger toward the injustice and corruption happening in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13). God’s anger burns against the wicked. Not all anger is bad. But sometimes the anger that comes out in our cutting tone, yelling, or terse words isn’t rooted in righteousness. It’s rooted in selfishness.

Let’s be slow to boil, slow to speak, slow to get angry. Let’s instead be quick to listen. We may find out the other side of the story is a worthwhile tale

Have a blessed day!

How To Be a Remarkable Recruiter

For those in direct sales, we know the best way to build our income AND to make a difference in someone’s life is to share the opportunity.  We call those individuals new to our teams “recruits” so we are in essence “recruiters”.

A term I am not thrilled with.  Why?  The term recruiter by definition is “a person whose job is to enlist or enroll people as employees, in the armed forces, or as members of an organization.

For years, I would say “I’m not good at recruiting”.  I would play the comparison game with those who grew their teams by leaps and bounds.  By no means would I call myself a remarkable recruiter, at best an average recruiter and most of the time not recruiting at all.  I tend to miss cues of those who may be interested, or not sharing with everyone while asking if they would be interested in the opportunity.  I could blame the MS but the truth is I worried about those I invited to be a part of this pink bubble.  I worried if they would be successful. I worried if they would think I mislead them.  

Then one day, I stopped worrying.  I just shared the difference Thirty One make in my life and things started to happen.  Did all of those who joined, stick and stay?  NO!  But the odds are getting better.  

Here are FIVE habits which make a REMARKABLE recruiter – rate yourself on  a score of 1 – 10 with 10 being ALWAYS to see how you do.  Don’t score yourself on where you WANT to be or be too hard on yourself.  Be honest, this will help you to achieve your business recruiting goals.

  1. Remarkable recruiters work consistently smarter and not harder.  They consistently have parties booked on a monthly basis.  They are sharing their products with EVERYONE they run into whether they know they or not.  
  2. Remarkable recruiters ALWAYS smile.  No matter how bad the party or the day, they always have a smile on their face and a positive thought to share.  Did you know smiling is a reflection of what’s inside of you?  Share the joy you feel about your business with everyone simply by smiling.  I remember a comment a friend made “your face lights up when you talk about Thirty One“.  I am learning to wear the joy all of the time so people are curious why and I can share the blessing given to me.
  3. Remarkable recruiters are active not passive.  They take the lead when someone shows interest in the business.  They get on the PHONE (I know the dreaded 500-pound one) and don’t rely on flyers and emails to recruit new consultants.  
  4. Remarkable recruiters think about what is in it for someone else!  Yes, more recruits mean more money for us.  The key is to focus on how your business will help someone else – make more money to reduce debt, have a vacation, pay for their kid’s activities  etc.  CONNECT with people.  Our business is all about relationship building – go out and BUILD one today.
  5. Remarkable recruiters stay in control of the recruiting process. If a potential recruit says they want to think about it – do you wait for them to call you?  The fortune is in the follow-up.  How about asking them what the TWO things are that keep them from jumping in?  LISTEN to their answer and see if you can overcome those doubts.

Okay, so how did you do?  What were your weaknesses – where you scored yourself below a 5. Now focus on developing those skills.  Habits can be learned so if you are trying to GROW your business – find some training calls and then practice these habits.  Honestly, I have some weaknesses but I am working hard to overcome them by listening to training calls, talking with those who are successful in this area and seeking out ways to overcome my fears.  
 
Love to hear from REMARKABLE recruiters with their tips for success.  
Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Growing Your Business Online

Over the last three months, I have seen a change in my business.  After talking to other direct sellers, a lot are seeing the same thing.  Many in direct sales are seeing their business move to more online sales/ parties and less “home parties”.  I LOVE home parties.  I love connecting with women and getting to know them.  I love seeing them smile as they spend time with friends, reconnect and relax.  That is what makes me smile. So I need to learn how to do the same thing online.  Is it possible???

You can imagine how I struggled when I found my calendar empty with the exception of some Facebook/ online parties and a few vendors events.  Those inner gremlins began to jump for joy as they saw the perfect opportunity to play the “negative” mantras and the comparison game.  It was tough squashing them but I had to give it a try.

I went on the hunt to find new ways to connect with people on Facebook or to engage my customer base from the last 6 1/2 years.  I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  I knew I would try things which would flop while other things would be a success.  I was willing to commit to it because I wanted to continue working my business full-time and make a difference in the lives of others.  Even tougher because I am a little tech challenged.

I tried Facebook parties before.  Some were successful while others flopped.  I looked at the differences.  Hostess coaching played a huge factor in those which were successful. Hostesses who wanted to earn FREE product and were willing to at least do a little bit to help make the party a success.  Flops were usually associated with no participation from the hostess or I was using other people’s scripts and not making them mine.  Admit it, you have done the same thing!

I looked for people who were successful in running their direct sales business solely online.  I looked for tips and tricks from other direct sellers.  I was bound and determined to make it work.  Here is actually a blog post I wrote almost 4 years ago which talks about this exact subject:

As Jason Dorsey says – you need to communicate with different people differently.  In Inc. Magazine there was an article on “4 Tips for Using Social Media to Sell“.  I love that Matt Heinz talks about “social selling” instead of “social media”.  Here is a link to his book “Successful Social Selling”  Here are the 4 key principles shared in the article:

  1. Getting more “followers’ in not a goal.  “There is no connection between the number of followers or likes and your amount of sales.”  So true!  I have been doing this through my blog but now I have ventured into the social media realm to do the same thing.  Sharing products and information by offering people an opportunity to experience Thirty One products without the HARD sell.
  2. Connection is not engagement.  Selling comes from interaction and not just pushing my message or expertise.  I am learning to respond to each person who comments on a post, especially the engagement ones.  You need to INTERACT with people to build a relationship with them whether online or in person.   
  3. Buyers signal by declaring problems.  I am still working on this one. LISTENING for signals when you are face to face is one thing but I find it so much more difficult online.  I worry about giving a “sales pitch” or “being pushy” when I “think” I hear those signals.  
  4. You are not in control.  This is so tough for those like to be in control!  “If you tweet, blog, or post about a solution, idea, or product a person doesn’t need, they won’t necessarily connect with you. If you are listening to the social Web and hear someone declare a problem you can solve or a question you can answer, giving you an opportunity to send a relevant response, then you are truly engaging.”

It has only been three months of consistently trying things online and it is working.  I will admit, I stress at the first of the month when the calendar looks light BUT then I get busy.  Over the last 3 months, I have met my personal sales goals and my team has met theirs and almost ALL of us do just do things online.  Consistency is the key.

So, what are your thoughts on social selling ON social media?  If you use Social Meda, what platforms do you use and are they creating business opportunities for you?  Please share your thoughts…. Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Listen and Be Still

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Listen, be still and wait,

You’ll hear all kinds of things:

A moth up on the windowpane,

Whir of birds on the wing.

Listen, be still and hear

The language of the wildflowers.

Be serene and patient; wait

For new sounds every hour.  – Mami Oaburn Odum

These are the words I needed to hear this morning because I forget to LISTEN and BE STILL.  My mind is always racing 100 miles ahead of where I am – letting moments pass by, letting frustration creep in, and worse of all letting Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie land for even a moment.  Patience has never really been a strong point for me.

The last few weeks have been a struggle, I have found myself undergoing a range of emotions or should I say reactions which are not always pleasant.  I can be down right mean sometimes – yes, it happens.

I have asked Hubby to point it out to me when it happens.  Okay, I didn’t say it was the best decision but with brain fog happening more and more – I need someone to help me remember.   Just the other day.  We were having a great morning when all of a sudden – this gray cloud came over me and I was “snappy”.  I know hard to believe, right?  LOL.  I actually found myself stopping for a moment , keeping QUIET and saying the Serenity Prayer.  Within an hour – gray cloud gone and sunshine prevailed for the rest of the day.  I so which I could understand why the gray could comes out of no where.  I don’t know where they come from BUT I do know what makes them go away – listening to and signing my favorite songs, asking God for help instead of demanding help; keeping quiet, appreciating my surroundings and being grateful for all of the many blessings God has given me.

I find myself having one sided conversations with God (or anyone else who will listen) and then when I need to BE STILL, I become impatient because I want an answer NOW!  My time, not God’s time.

So JUST FOR TODAY in a day filled with activity, I will make sure I take a few moments to BE SERENE, BE STILL and LISTEN.  I have a dream and goals but I need to know if they are the same as what God has in store for me.  The only way to know is to LISTEN.  Get off the computer. Avoid the IPAD.  Get away from the phone.  UNPLUG, communicate with people, LISTEN and watch for the doors that God is opening for me.

Will you unplug with me and PLUG into God’s beauty which surrounds us?  What are you thankful for today?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

How to Maneuver Difficult Converations

timthumb-phpWoohoo Wednesday is all about how to grow personally which will help us to grow professionally whether you are a business owner or not.

Think about the most successful person you know.  Visualize them?  Got the picture?  Do they have the most talent you have seen?  Did they go to college and have the highest test scores?  Do they have a degree from an Ivy League school?  Or, did they earn their success because of their way with words?

The truth is some of the most successful people are a success because they learned how to talk differently – to others, and to themselves.  They conquered the toughest skill of all –  the art of navigating a difficult conversation.  Do they sweat or worry? Or do they effortlessly talk about topics which would utterly stress you (and others) out?  I am in awe how they manage to maneuver through these mine fields without even a scratch.

I wondered how they did it so I went on a hunt to see if I could find out….

Here are six things successful people do differently when they have something hard to say.

Consider what conversation you need to have and

1. Plan it out.

Think about the outcome you want from the conversation. Then stay focused so you don’t get distracted by emotions. This is the tough part for me.  I tend to cry at the drop of a hat – not good in difficult conversations.  Write your key points. Decide how you want to say them. How do you want to end the conversation?

2. Have compassion.

Speak with respect and kindness. See it from the other side, not just your own. Remember it is not all about you.  What do they want? What are they feeling? Acknowledge those things. Hard conversations don’t have to be ugly as long as you are being compassionate when telling the truth.compassion-2

3. Get it over with.

When you need to have tough discussions, do you delay them?  It is the worse thing to do.  The longer you wait, the more stress.  When you stress and wait, all of these tips are useless.  Have the conversation because when you do, you will be able to bless and release.

4. Talk more than you type.

How often would you rather hide behind a keyboard then have the difficult conversation?  This is not the way to approach a difficult conversation.  WHY?  because it is important to have the back-and-forth interaction, sense the tone of the voices, and see the body language.  These are things you can’t convey in texts or emails.   Have a face to face (or phone conversation if in-person isn’t realistic) conversation.

5. Know listening is a form of speaking.

Listening is key to any conversation but letting others feel like they are being heard is extremely important in difficult conversations.  People can see their value in your eyes when you are listening.  I’m not saying to skirt around the points you want to make, just be sure to listen, too.  What did our mothers always say?  God gave us two ears and one mouth so we could listen MORE and talk less.

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6. Question your fear.

FEAR!  It stops us dead in tracks most most of the time.  Having tough conversations is not different.  Fear usually keeps up from moving forward on so many things.  It is not a stop sign. It does not mean we should not move forward.  Use the PAUSE as an opportunity to question your fear.  What are you afraid will happen if you have this conversation? How will you handle the reaction or response?  How can you have the conversation without having an unwanted outcome?  Face the fear and refuse to allow it to silence you by making a plan to deal with it.

So, who are you afraid to have a difficult conversation with?  What are the key points you want to say and how do you want the conversation to end?  Share with us and we will help you fight the fear…

Thank you Valerie Burton for these tips.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!