Will You Shift Your Thinking to Change Your Life?

Life has a way of throwing us curve balls.  One minute all is wonderful and the next we are slammed with challenges which can send us into a black hole.  On this Monday morning, how will you see the world?

Will you be ready to charge into the week or are you already thinking how behind you are or how bad it will be?  You have a choice and what you decide can make the difference in a good week versus a bad week.

I love how my Thursday morning Weight Watcher meeting messages tend to relate to my everyday life.  The topic of “shift your thinking” hit me hard.  Why?  I am continuously guilty of the failing prey to the negative inner gremlins.  I talk a good game but I have moments too when those curve balls send me down the dark path of doom and gloom

So, on this Monday morning when I am headed home from an amazing visit with my daughter in North Carolina – I am fighting the inner gremlins.  I have decided to slam the door on them.  Yes, I may have eaten (and drank) more than normal.  Yes, I may have gained a little weight (or not).  Yes, I may have taken the focus off my business for a little bit.  BUT instead of thinking of the negatives of the trip, I will focus on the positives.  I got to spend an awesome 5 days with my daughter so we could reconnect.  I got to meet new people.  I got to clear my head and get creative in my business.  I got to rest.  All positives I will focus on as I head home.

Your mindset is not set in stone.  Think about how many times during the day you switch from a positive to a negative mindset.  Believe it or not, we do it ALOT!  There are two areas in our lives we need to switch from a “fixed” mindset to a “growth” mindset – our weight loss journey and our business.  What’s the difference in the two mindsets?

A growth mindset lets us see new experiences and challenges as a chance to grow – to learn, to improve and benefit.  I like to think of this a the positive inner gremlins beating the negative ones.

A fixed mindset is when we are not open to new things.  We tend to except things as they are.  Negative thoughts stick in our brains and setbacks seem like mountains we are unable to climb.  As a result, we continue to do the same thing expecting different results.

When we are ready to shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, we unleash positive powerful changes.  The weight starts to come off, your business starts to grow.  We develop skills which will help us to not only make healthier decisions but will also help us to succeed in life!  Our growth mindset allows us to reflect on our slips or mistakes and learn from them while moving forward.

Why do I relate the two – weightless and growing your business?  Because  the journey for me has been linked to the same negative inner gremlins.  If I am feeling bad in one area of my life, the other seems to suffer as a result.

So, how do we shift to a growth mindset?  We need to stomp to the inner gremlins and here is a way to do it:

Fixed Mindset:  “I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this (lose weight or make money in my business).  It’s so hard!  I don’t think I can keep going.”  See the negative inner gremlins feeding and growing stronger.

Reality Check:  “This is a challenge and I’m not sure how long I can keep going, but I won’t ever know if I stop now”.  This is where we make the conscious decision to try.  To give it one more day/week/month to eat healthy.  To give the business one more month to see if I can make money.

Growth Mindset:  “This challenge has been tough but if I continue to make small changes and try to keep going, I know I can do it”  Focus on the accomplishments – big or small.

I challenge you to start this week with a growth mindset, will you accept the challenge.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Everything is a Choice 

It has been a whirlwind weekend and is it crazy to say, I am grateful it is Monday.  LOL!  Thursday, I spent the day with my mom exploring farmer’s markets in the area.  Then Friday, we had date night.  Hubby and I went to see RENT.  It was amazing.  Saturday a vendor event.  Then yesterday was a full day of Thirty One style partying after church – first a home party followed by a Facebook LIVE party.  

Through this busy weekend, I learned the lesson of there is not one-size-fits-all answers and solutions to things.  We each have obstacles, struggles, and frustrations we face in our business and life but we each have a different way of handling them.  I could have been bummed out this weekend I wasn’t attending my upline’s retreat in Pigeon Forge, TN. I decided to make the most of it and keep myself busy in my own pink bubble.

I found myself talking with members of my team and other women who needed some support and encouragement.  I was grateful to be able to celebrate and encourage them so we could explore ways to make things happen as they pursue their goals.

It’s Monday and some don’t feel motivated or inspired. Some feel overwhelmed or stuck. Some are crippled by fear.  For some, things aren’t going the way they hoped or planned.  It could be as simple as not having enough time or support from their family and friends.

No matter what your challenge……

Feeling motivated is a choice. Feeling inspired is a choice. Feeling focused is a choice. Showing up and getting your work done is a choice. Pushing through fear is a choice. Not relying on the approval or validation of others is a choice. Choosing a mindset of abundance over scarcity is a choice.

I know, this is easier said than done. We all carry lots of baggage, mindset, and fears. Our experiences have shaped us and as a result determines how we navigate through our work and our life.  Life is a journey and there is always work to be done.  We need to rewrite the stories we are telling ourselves.  We need to discover the hidden inner gremlins so we can become emotionally aware for when they attack.   We need to change our mindset –  positive attracts positive – remember “The Secret“.

When we shift from feeling like things are happening to us and accept we’re choosing to experience these things (since most of it is out of our control), we can start to move forward along the way.

It is your choice to create a space and energy to feel inspired and motivated.  It your choice to be productive when we don’t really want to do anything.  It is your choice to dig deep, work through the fear and squash those inner gremlins.  It is your choice to be in the moment and embrace what is happening instead of complaining there is not enough time. It is your choice to be your own cheerleaders, instead of resenting the people who aren’t.

You can make the choice to get unstuck.

What negative things are you saying about your business or your life, which you can make the choice to change?  What are you going to do to get unstuck and move forward?

I believe in you.  Let’s move forward this week ready to conquer the world – or at least ours.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Grow Your Confidence – Part 2

Last week, I talked about growing your self confidence and I received a lot of feedback.  I won’t say i am surprised because despite all of the overwhelmingly positive posts on Facebook and Instagram, there are people who struggle. They struggle with standing tall and proud letting their sparkle shine through.

So here are a few more things which might help you boost your confidence…

1. Take some time for personal care.   I will admit, I am the worst at this.  When I am feeling yuk, all I want to do is lay around in my sweats.  The truth is, we should really nudge ourselves to do something for us.  Now, I don’t mean spend a fortune. How about pulling out your favorite shaving cream and shaving those legs? The warmer weather is coming.  How about deep conditioning your hair? Or even soaking in a bubble bath?  Pamper yourself with something you enjoy doing for you. Give yourself permission to enjoy life. Giving yourself permission to relax and even PLAY, will pay you back ten fold.  You will gradually change your mindset so the fun times come more naturally.

2. Visualize and Reframe.  This is going to sound a little crazy since I always talk about how important positive thinking is BUT believe me it works.  Take a few minutes to reflect on the problems you are facing in your life. Feel the feelings associated with the problem.  Do you naturally assume the worst – let’s REFRAME the problem and the solution!  Nothing is hopeless but when you believe it is, all you will feel is unhappiness and that you are a failure.

So, I want you to pick one problem and look at it in a new light by recreating a positive outcome.  I know it can be tough but you can do it.  Imagine a positive solution and really feel the feeling of the new positive ending to your story. Now, make the new ending happen!

3. Make a List of Your Positive Attributes.  Yes you do have them.  We all do even if we don’t always see them.  For many years, I heard “you are your own worst enemy” and I know I am not alone.  It is time to make a list of your positive gifts (physical and mental). We need to find an inner love for ourselves, instead of looking to others for approval.  I struggled with this exercise for years and then with the help of a friend, I reached out to several close friends and asked for their help.  I asked them to describe me in just 3 words.  I was blown away by the response. Once I wrote them all together, I put them into positive mantras I could repeat until I really started to believe them…

4. Fake it till you make it.   I know this sounds easy and hard to believe it actually works, but trust me it is easy and it does work. Remember those negative thoughts like:”This day sucks”, “I feel ugly” or “I am not good enough” guess what? Those thoughts radiate and everyone knows how you are feeling.  You need to keep your thoughts in check, so when the negative self talk creeps back up- proclaim the opposite. This will help you to build your self worth cause the negative inner gremlins can get pretty sneaky.

5. Get enough sleep.   I know as busy women, who has time for a good’s night sleep, right?  What is the definition of a good night’s sleep?  Is it 5 hours or maybe less?  Maybe it means a night when the kids aren’t climbing in your bed.  When you are tired and your body is run down, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Your body is dragging, and the negative inner gremlins are ready to rear their ugly heads. As much as you may hate to hear it, your body needs a solid 6-8 hours of sleep – peaceful uninterrupted sleep. I used to live on about 5 hours then age creeped in and health struggles.  I am grateful my hubby got me into a routine of at least 7 hours of sleep.  There are days when I get less but I can tell because my sparkle dulls just a little.  I know it is not always easy but find a happy medium for you so you have the energy to fight off those nasty gremlins.

I would love to hear from you and know what you do to boost your confidence on those tough days.  

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Changing Your Intent Will Change Your Situation

Happy Monday! You have the CHOICE to make today whether to have a good day or a bad day?  Which will it be? Struggling with the Monday morning blues?  Let’s shift your mindset so you can change the way the day or week will go….

One of my goals every day is to show up in my life – in my relationships, my work, my finances, and with my health.  Am I always successful? NO!  Do I keep trying? YES!  Why?  Because when I continue to show up reflecting who I want to be, I begin to see changes in my life making it easier to reach my goals.

What is challenging for you right now?  Is it work?  Your marriage/ relationships? Finances?  What if you could change the intent to see if it changes the situation.  Pick one area of your life you would like to see a change.

For example, if work is challenging for you right now, you could set an intention for how you want to show up at work:

“My intention is to maintain my calm and peace in the midst of the storm going on at work.”

“My intention is to keep making calls to customers despite the answering machines or negative attitude some may have”

A simple change in your mindset will help you change your response when things get frustrating during the day.  Not sure you will remember your intention?  I know it is hard when you are in the moment of chaos.  How about setting a reminder on your phone (hourly, multiple times, whatever) to remind you of your intention?  Know you are going to be in a stressful situation, set the reminder for about 15 minutes BEFORE the meeting or event to take you mind from the negative to the positive.  I do this on days when I am struggling with depression, it helps to clear my head of Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie.  

Changing your intention will also change the way others respond to you.  Changing your intention will change how situations unfold.  The best part is changing your intention  is it will allow opportunities to find you. You will be feeding the Universe with your positive energy.  Positive attracts positive, right?

What is your intention for this week?  What would happen if the best version of you showed up all week, you know the one you are proud of?

Imagine for a moment what it would look like to show up as your most powerful, authentic self in whatever situation you are struggling with…. what would change?

Share your thoughts with us..

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Throwback Thursday – I’d Be Happy If…

b4-picture-with-belinda

UGH!  I cringe every time I see this picture but it is a constant reminder for me. Yes, it is me at a hefty 295 pounds with my awesome daughter.  This is definitely a #throwback.

This was a period of time in my life when Negative Nellie and Doubtful Debbie were playing along side me.  My mantra then was always “I will be happy when…..” and as a result I sometimes missed out on things.

Have you every said or even thought these words? Have you started a sentence with “when I am…., I will be happy”? I will be honest and say there are still some days when those thoughts knock on my door.

On my weight loss journey to goal weight, my favorite line was “I’ll be happy when I reach goal weight”.   Guess what?  I reached goal weight and there was no magic wand to make me happy.  When fear and doubt creep into my business, I say “I’ll be happy to make my minimum goal”. OH NO!!!mrbill1

The Universe brings us what we put out there.  Fear and doubt brings more fear and doubt.  The statement “I’d be happy if ….” takes our focus off the blessings we already have and those waiting for us.  We miss out on the moment and no matter what you may think – good, bad or otherwise – the moment is a blessing.

What if you were to change this statement to “I’m thankful for…..”?  Sometimes in the dark it is hard to see the blessings.  Maybe you are struggling with finances, a shaky marriage, addiction, homelessness or (fill in the blank).  There is blessings in them.  Maybe it is a stranger who smiles at you or pays you a compliment.  Maybe it is a friend who drops by unannounced with groceries.  Maybe it is a song on the radio which evokes a pleasant memory.  Being thankful for the smallest thing truly will make a difference in your life.

So, today let’s list what we are thankful for this week. This is my list from 2014 (since this is #TBT) I am thankful this week for:

  • A relationship with God that gives me comfort when I struggle
  • A loving husband who supports me no matter what
  • A loving family who accepts me for who I am along with all of my faults
  • Feeling a little bit better and learning how to manage my IBS
  • Not re-injurying my back during the mini storm last Monday
  • A business that allows me the flexibility to make my own schedule
  • A supportive network (ETTM) of fellow solo-preneurs and network marketers
  • A full March calendar that allows me to share Thirty One with friends and family
  • Only nudging the scale up (1 lb) a little this week. Yes, I would love a loss but as I change my eating habits there will be some changes in my weight. Building a bridge and getting over it!
  • Receiving an unexpected refund check when the checkbook was getting a little low

As I look back and reflect on this past week, here is what I am thankful for now:

  • A relationship with God which comforts me when I struggle (never changes)
  • A loving husband who supports me no matter what (my rock)
  • A loving family who accepts me for who I am along with all of my faults
  • Learning to manage my MS
  • A business which allows me the flexibility to make my own schedule
  • Grateful the scale keeps going down every week
  • A support network who continue to help me stay accountable to my goals.

Don’t think you are blessed?  Think this is all silly?  The truth is a change in your mindset will definitely change your outlook and the results.  Start with the little things you are grateful for: waking up in the morning, no traffic on the way to work, a roof over your head, family, food on the table, a job, and the list goes on.

I could go on and on because I am BLESSED.  When doubt and fear creep in or Negative Nellie or Doubtful Debbie try to pay a visit – I take a gratitude walk. I STOP and start listing all of the things I am grateful at the MOMENT – no matter how large or small. For me, this closes the door on the negative thoughts and helps me to focus on the positive things in my life.

What is your “I’d be happy if” statement? Let’s change it from a negative to a positive…

Here is one of my favorite songs by Laura Story…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!