Confidence is Within Your Reach

Confident by definition is “feeling or showing self-assured; and feeling or showing certainty about something.”  Have you ever felt your confidence slipping?  Fear and doubt creeps in?  Those nasty inner gremlins play with your emotions?

I have a choice – it is time to make a decision and take action.  Time to stop wallowing in self-pity.  Time to find the independent confident woman I was.  Time to STOMP on those inner gremlins.  Yes, there may be tears.  Yes, there may be angry moments.  But in the end, all will be well.  God has a plan for me and I need to have faith.

I looked back at an article I read on the Direct Sales Education Foundation‘s website about “Finding Confidence“.  Yes, I need to hit “RESET” periodically because those nasty gremlins find their way past the closed (or what I thought was sealed) doors.

Has “self confidence” been a struggle for you?  I know I am always talking about it but I but I am often surprised by the people who share they lack confidence.  On the outside they appear strong, capable of overcoming anything while on the inside they are fighting the same inner gremlins many of us do.   Here are some of the tips which might help:

  • Practice makes perfect.   We have all heard this a million times growing up – from sports to school to musical instruments.  As I got older, practicing seemed silly.  I was a fan of winging it but have found when I do, my confidence is sometimes shaken.  “My mission is to bring a smiles and paychecks to those who are struggling and love #ThirtyOneGifts as much as I do!” Something simple but definitely worth practicing.  My party scripts are becoming a little bit more natural too since I have been practicing.  Practice may not make me perfect but it will help to build confidence.
  • Find a mentor.  I have an amazing upline, Hope Shortt has been supportive and knows just when to challenge me.  Find someone who you want to be like, ask them if you can shadow them.  Find someone who you can trust and respect and build a relationship.  I also am blessed to have Desiree Wolfe in my corner.  Her kick in the butt is what I need sometimes.
  • Find a partner.  Find a close friend, family member or even your spouse who can share in your accomplishments and help to bolster your confidence.
  • Dress for success.  This is something else I have heard since my college days.  Wear something which makes you feel good when you go to a presentation or a meeting.  It should fit well and be put together with accessories and hair style.  Someone asked me the other day if I had a makeover.  I was THRILLED.  No, not a formal one but I did in my head.  How?  Hair style instead of just hair hanging straight.  Out of my jeans for meetings and into a pair of khakis (capris right now) with a nice shirt and jewelry.  Makeup.  I never leave the house without some.  You never know who you will run into on the trip to the grocery store to grab a gallon of milk.
Simple tips but for those of us who have a small comfort zone, this is a BIG deal.  Things I have heard for years but thought I was “too old”.  You can teach an old dog new tricks – really!  Are you ready to challenge yourself?  Try one of these tips, if not all of them.  DREAM BIG!  The sky is the limit.
Time to accept your strengths and weaknesses. Challenges will come but it is how we deal with them which makes the difference in the end.  Time to be confident in myself and how I want my life to be.
How do you find your confidence?  Please share, I would love to hear and at the same time, you may help someone else.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Gaining Confidence Is An Ongoing Process

I have been having one of those weeks…. yup, fear and doubt has crept in.  My confidence has been shaken and I am wondering what my purpose is in life.  What happened?  I’m not sure except I have had some weird health days.  Days of feeling unsure.  Most days I can shake it then there are some when I need a confidence booster.  Surrounding myself with supportive  friends and family is part of it BUT sometimes I need to work on me.

Here are some things I do to help shake those nasty inner gremlins:

1.  Share Your Gifts & Passion with Others

Everyone has gifts and talents even when our confidence is lacking.  When I have days like this, I start writing.  Because I know sharing my struggles with others is one of my gifts.  You have accomplished great things – don’t downplay what you have achieved.  I know I am guilty of this all of the time.  The truth is, we are all good at something and there is always someone who wants to learn.

2. Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

When I have days like this, I tend to focus on all of the mistakes I made in life. Remember negative thoughts brings more negative thoughts.  When we hold ourselves or others to high standards expecting perfection, we are usually left feeling less than, a failure, and unworthy. Give yourself a break!  Self-forgiveness is an important step towards building your self esteem and confidence.  Everyone make mistakes, you are no exception and you deserve to be forgiven.

3. Pay it Forward or Pay Yourself

Are you looking to right your wrongs or make a change due to mistakes from your past which may be holding you back?  We can’t wave a magic wand and make them go away BUT we can change the outcome.  Didn’t make school a priority in your life?  Go back and take some classes.  Maybe you weren’t there for friends and family – make amends.  As a recovering addict, my mission is to help those who are struggling because others helped m.  What mistake can you forgive yourself for so you can move on?

4. Be Solution Focused

I always say negative thoughts brings more negative – positive brings more positive, it is the way of the Universe.  So, when you are always complaining about not having enough (of anything), nothing gets accomplished. Look for solutions when things aren’t going as planned. This will take some practice before it becomes natural.  In the end, you will be able to approach a problem from a mindset of how to solve it instead of WHY ME victim mindset.

5. Smile

I know it is hard to smile when you are feeling less than BUT a little smile goes a long way. You would be surprised how it can actually change your mindset. It makes me feel good to smile, and it can also brighten someone else’s day.  In some cases this is where I advocate, fake it till you make it.   I don’t mean being fake to others, it is about learning to pick your head up and feel good along the way. The more you do it, before long, you will forget you were “faking it” and actually feed better, maybe even GOOD or GREAT!

6. Fear is Your Friend

FEAR is huge when we are not feeling confident (at least for me).  I am trying hard to use fear to my advantage! Think about it – fear shows up when you are about to step out of your comfort zone, stretch yourself and build your confidence. This is your secret weapon to growing.  When you recognize it is about to get scary, you are about to expand yourself which is HUGE confidence builder.

Despite popular belief (and my constant writing about it) I do struggle with confidence.  I am always amazed how I am more confident around people I don’t know then I am around friends or business colleagues.  Those nasty inner gremlins love to play the comparison game.

Share your struggles and your successes with us.  Let’s BUILD each other up so we are all successful in our business (and our lives).

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Prioritize THIS above Your List

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

Many of us check off neatly penciled boxes. Some draw lines through the tasks we’ve finished. A select few of us even add things to our lists after we’ve done something that wasn’t on our list … so we can mark it off! (I may or may not do this…) Some of us keep track in our heads, while others track progress of daily goals on paper, on a computer, or on an app.

At times I fluff my list. Instead of simply writing, “Do three loads of laundry,” I’ll create twelve list items to check off that read:

  • Wash whites
  • Dry whites
  • Fold/hang whites
  • Put away whites
  • Wash colors
  • Dry colors
  • Fold/hang colors
  • Put away colors
  • Wash darks
  • Dry darks
  • Fold/hang darks
  • Put away darks

I just love to check boxes. I think it’s because I sincerely want to be a productive person. I want to feel like I’m accomplishing something. It’s pretty much a daily struggle for me. As an optimist, I wake up anticipating that the seconds, minutes, and hours of each day will bend to cooperate with the demands of my list.

And …it never works out that simply or efficiently.

You struggle with this too, right? Most of us feel frustrated and at times, overwhelmed by the abyss of a rarely satisfied to-do list. It’s exhausting. We face constant demands that call to us and vie for our attention. We sift through the essentials and the fire drills, then we go to bed, wake up, and do it all again.

The good news is that we don’t need to face our lists alone. God offers to come along side of us daily to provide the strength, perspective, and wisdom we need. He helps us prioritize our days when we turn to Him in prayer. In the Bible, we read of a woman who approached each day with God-power and God-perspective:

“She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (Proverbs 31:17, NIV).

Though this is an impressive statement about her work ethic, and though it seems this fictional woman dominates her daily to-do list, it’s important that we consider the source of her strength: God. At the end of the chapter, Scripture shows us that she “…fears the Lord…” (Proverbs 31:30, NIV). This means that she lives in awe of God. That she worships and prioritizes Him above all else. That the source of her strength is rooted in her dependence on and reverence of God.

Ours should be, too.

Your list looks different from mine. We have unique goals, friendships, jobs, responsibilities, and families. Whether you are in the work force, unemployed, or retired … or a stay-at-home mom, a single mom, or an empty nester … a wife, a widow, single, or divorced, God can and will give you the strength and guidance you need when you prioritize and revere Him.

Consider the following verses:

“Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” (Galatians 3:3, NIV)

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31, NIV)

God will strengthen our arms for the tasks of today when we prioritize Him above the list.Let’s go to Him now and ask for direction, wisdom, renewal, and strength.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

What is Your Purpose?

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During a recent conversation with a good friend, I had an AHA moment.  You know the moment when you realize what your purpose is?  Or at least you think you do!!

As I get closer to my 6th Anniversary with Thirty One, I wonder how is someone’s life better because they crossed my path?  Why now?  Because I love to inspire, encourage and do things for others to make them smile.  Hubby said “you should have married a wealthy man so you could just do what you love – helping others without having to worry about bills or money.”  Would I change my life – NEVER.  Although I do want to fulfill my purpose.

So, do you know why are you here?  I don’t mean right this second, I mean in the BIG picture.  The why are you here on this planet at this time, born into the family you were born into, with your unique gifts and talents, with your experiences? There is indeed a reason we are here.  I struggle with the answer sometimes.

Many would call this our purpose or our mission in life.  We all have one. For many years (okay most of my career) I defined myself as my job.  I was a Social Worker, and a single mom.  As time passed, I became a wife and a “retired” Social Worker.    The truth was there was more to my purpose on this planet.

My deepest desire is to discover my purpose and live it. When I get to the end of my life, I want to be able to say, “Mission accomplished”? My mission gets fuzzy, what about you?  I tend to feel lost, despite the rest of the world thinking I have it all together.  I have been blessed with awards and honors not only in my previous career, but also in my pink bubble yet I long to know if I am really making a difference.  Not necessarily a huge footprint on the world but just in each person’s life I come in contact with every day.  External accolades of success are wonderful, but some times there is an empty place in your soul longing for true fulfillment.  The true fulfillment comes when you are living your purpose.

So, can you answer this one question? “How is someone’s life better when they cross your path?”  Without a lot thought and hunting for what you think the answer should be.  Don’t spend hours analyzing it – just answer from your gut.

We are all here for a reason – leaving the world a better place is our purpose. The fun part is we get to do this by using our own uniqueness – our gifts, strengths, passion and experiences.  Your mission does not have to be unique.  You do not have to be the ONLY person in the world with your particular mission.  The difference is you are the only one who can accomplish it the way you can.

God placed people in our lives who we are uniquely able to impact. They connect with you. They are around you. They are impacted by you.  I was blessed this past weekend to see this in action.  I was at an event, sharing the gift of Thirty One when I began talking about Thirty One Gives and Girl Talk. This wonderful woman explained how her school could use this program.  I have always wanted to start a Girl Talk Chapter BUT have always hesitated thinking it was beyond my gifts and talents.  God opened a door and I am running through it.

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I’m not the only person whose mission is to encourage struggling women to live fulfilling lives.  For some reason, right now, something caused us to connect. Whether it be to let you know you are not alone? Or to make you smile.

In this moment, I get to live out my mission. I challenge you to write your purpose in one simple sentence.  Answer the question:

How is someone’s life better because they crossed your path? 

Thank you for letting me continue to share my strengths, hope and experience with you in the hope it sill make a difference to you or someone you know.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!