Gaining Confidence Is An Ongoing Process

I have been having one of those weeks…. yup, fear and doubt has crept in.  My confidence has been shaken and I am wondering what my purpose is in life.  What happened?  I’m not sure except I have had some weird health days.  Days of feeling unsure.  Most days I can shake it then there are some when I need a confidence booster.  Surrounding myself with supportive  friends and family is part of it BUT sometimes I need to work on me.

Here are some things I do to help shake those nasty inner gremlins:

1.  Share Your Gifts & Passion with Others

Everyone has gifts and talents even when our confidence is lacking.  When I have days like this, I start writing.  Because I know sharing my struggles with others is one of my gifts.  You have accomplished great things – don’t downplay what you have achieved.  I know I am guilty of this all of the time.  The truth is, we are all good at something and there is always someone who wants to learn.

2. Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

When I have days like this, I tend to focus on all of the mistakes I made in life. Remember negative thoughts brings more negative thoughts.  When we hold ourselves or others to high standards expecting perfection, we are usually left feeling less than, a failure, and unworthy. Give yourself a break!  Self-forgiveness is an important step towards building your self esteem and confidence.  Everyone make mistakes, you are no exception and you deserve to be forgiven.

3. Pay it Forward or Pay Yourself

Are you looking to right your wrongs or make a change due to mistakes from your past which may be holding you back?  We can’t wave a magic wand and make them go away BUT we can change the outcome.  Didn’t make school a priority in your life?  Go back and take some classes.  Maybe you weren’t there for friends and family – make amends.  As a recovering addict, my mission is to help those who are struggling because others helped m.  What mistake can you forgive yourself for so you can move on?

4. Be Solution Focused

I always say negative thoughts brings more negative – positive brings more positive, it is the way of the Universe.  So, when you are always complaining about not having enough (of anything), nothing gets accomplished. Look for solutions when things aren’t going as planned. This will take some practice before it becomes natural.  In the end, you will be able to approach a problem from a mindset of how to solve it instead of WHY ME victim mindset.

5. Smile

I know it is hard to smile when you are feeling less than BUT a little smile goes a long way. You would be surprised how it can actually change your mindset. It makes me feel good to smile, and it can also brighten someone else’s day.  In some cases this is where I advocate, fake it till you make it.   I don’t mean being fake to others, it is about learning to pick your head up and feel good along the way. The more you do it, before long, you will forget you were “faking it” and actually feed better, maybe even GOOD or GREAT!

6. Fear is Your Friend

FEAR is huge when we are not feeling confident (at least for me).  I am trying hard to use fear to my advantage! Think about it – fear shows up when you are about to step out of your comfort zone, stretch yourself and build your confidence. This is your secret weapon to growing.  When you recognize it is about to get scary, you are about to expand yourself which is HUGE confidence builder.

Despite popular belief (and my constant writing about it) I do struggle with confidence.  I am always amazed how I am more confident around people I don’t know then I am around friends or business colleagues.  Those nasty inner gremlins love to play the comparison game.

Share your struggles and your successes with us.  Let’s BUILD each other up so we are all successful in our business (and our lives).

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Prioritize THIS above Your List

Thank you Gwen Smith for today’s message:

Many of us check off neatly penciled boxes. Some draw lines through the tasks we’ve finished. A select few of us even add things to our lists after we’ve done something that wasn’t on our list … so we can mark it off! (I may or may not do this…) Some of us keep track in our heads, while others track progress of daily goals on paper, on a computer, or on an app.

At times I fluff my list. Instead of simply writing, “Do three loads of laundry,” I’ll create twelve list items to check off that read:

  • Wash whites
  • Dry whites
  • Fold/hang whites
  • Put away whites
  • Wash colors
  • Dry colors
  • Fold/hang colors
  • Put away colors
  • Wash darks
  • Dry darks
  • Fold/hang darks
  • Put away darks

I just love to check boxes. I think it’s because I sincerely want to be a productive person. I want to feel like I’m accomplishing something. It’s pretty much a daily struggle for me. As an optimist, I wake up anticipating that the seconds, minutes, and hours of each day will bend to cooperate with the demands of my list.

And …it never works out that simply or efficiently.

You struggle with this too, right? Most of us feel frustrated and at times, overwhelmed by the abyss of a rarely satisfied to-do list. It’s exhausting. We face constant demands that call to us and vie for our attention. We sift through the essentials and the fire drills, then we go to bed, wake up, and do it all again.

The good news is that we don’t need to face our lists alone. God offers to come along side of us daily to provide the strength, perspective, and wisdom we need. He helps us prioritize our days when we turn to Him in prayer. In the Bible, we read of a woman who approached each day with God-power and God-perspective:

“She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (Proverbs 31:17, NIV).

Though this is an impressive statement about her work ethic, and though it seems this fictional woman dominates her daily to-do list, it’s important that we consider the source of her strength: God. At the end of the chapter, Scripture shows us that she “…fears the Lord…” (Proverbs 31:30, NIV). This means that she lives in awe of God. That she worships and prioritizes Him above all else. That the source of her strength is rooted in her dependence on and reverence of God.

Ours should be, too.

Your list looks different from mine. We have unique goals, friendships, jobs, responsibilities, and families. Whether you are in the work force, unemployed, or retired … or a stay-at-home mom, a single mom, or an empty nester … a wife, a widow, single, or divorced, God can and will give you the strength and guidance you need when you prioritize and revere Him.

Consider the following verses:

“Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” (Galatians 3:3, NIV)

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31, NIV)

God will strengthen our arms for the tasks of today when we prioritize Him above the list.Let’s go to Him now and ask for direction, wisdom, renewal, and strength.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

What is Your Purpose?

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During a recent conversation with a good friend, I had an AHA moment.  You know the moment when you realize what your purpose is?  Or at least you think you do!!

As I get closer to my 6th Anniversary with Thirty One, I wonder how is someone’s life better because they crossed my path?  Why now?  Because I love to inspire, encourage and do things for others to make them smile.  Hubby said “you should have married a wealthy man so you could just do what you love – helping others without having to worry about bills or money.”  Would I change my life – NEVER.  Although I do want to fulfill my purpose.

So, do you know why are you here?  I don’t mean right this second, I mean in the BIG picture.  The why are you here on this planet at this time, born into the family you were born into, with your unique gifts and talents, with your experiences? There is indeed a reason we are here.  I struggle with the answer sometimes.

Many would call this our purpose or our mission in life.  We all have one. For many years (okay most of my career) I defined myself as my job.  I was a Social Worker, and a single mom.  As time passed, I became a wife and a “retired” Social Worker.    The truth was there was more to my purpose on this planet.

My deepest desire is to discover my purpose and live it. When I get to the end of my life, I want to be able to say, “Mission accomplished”? My mission gets fuzzy, what about you?  I tend to feel lost, despite the rest of the world thinking I have it all together.  I have been blessed with awards and honors not only in my previous career, but also in my pink bubble yet I long to know if I am really making a difference.  Not necessarily a huge footprint on the world but just in each person’s life I come in contact with every day.  External accolades of success are wonderful, but some times there is an empty place in your soul longing for true fulfillment.  The true fulfillment comes when you are living your purpose.

So, can you answer this one question? “How is someone’s life better when they cross your path?”  Without a lot thought and hunting for what you think the answer should be.  Don’t spend hours analyzing it – just answer from your gut.

We are all here for a reason – leaving the world a better place is our purpose. The fun part is we get to do this by using our own uniqueness – our gifts, strengths, passion and experiences.  Your mission does not have to be unique.  You do not have to be the ONLY person in the world with your particular mission.  The difference is you are the only one who can accomplish it the way you can.

God placed people in our lives who we are uniquely able to impact. They connect with you. They are around you. They are impacted by you.  I was blessed this past weekend to see this in action.  I was at an event, sharing the gift of Thirty One when I began talking about Thirty One Gives and Girl Talk. This wonderful woman explained how her school could use this program.  I have always wanted to start a Girl Talk Chapter BUT have always hesitated thinking it was beyond my gifts and talents.  God opened a door and I am running through it.

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I’m not the only person whose mission is to encourage struggling women to live fulfilling lives.  For some reason, right now, something caused us to connect. Whether it be to let you know you are not alone? Or to make you smile.

In this moment, I get to live out my mission. I challenge you to write your purpose in one simple sentence.  Answer the question:

How is someone’s life better because they crossed your path? 

Thank you for letting me continue to share my strengths, hope and experience with you in the hope it sill make a difference to you or someone you know.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Bringing Hope and A Smile to a Child

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June was the start of a NEW ThirtyOne year.  Every year, I reflect on the past year – goals made and accomplished as well as those where I missed the mark.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I want to make a difference in the lives of others.

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My passion and my purpose will come together this year in a way I never thought possible.    I am on a mission of:

Bringing hope and a smile to children, reminding them they are special and worthy

Yes, the giving campaigns (chemo comfort bags, etc) will continue.  In addition, I will be donating 10% of my sales every month to a local organization that works with children.  Children who are hurting because of no fault of their own ensuring that for even a moment they know that someone cares.

In July, it will be “Lunch Break” whose mission is:

to alleviate hunger and lead those we serve to self-sufficiency and healthier lifestyles.  We serve everyone, with compassion and dignity.

I had the opportunity to meet with their staff last week and was impressed with their programs and their commitment.  This groups humble beginnings in Red Bank has grown in safe haven for those in need.  I saw smiles on the faces of children. I saw women feeling better about themselves.  I saw them making a difference in the lives of families who are struggling.

fight hunger

Last year, we provide 31 children with THERMAL LUNCH TOTES filled with healthy snacks. The totes also contained a note of encouragement for mom as well as some inexpensive lunch ideas.  Let’s be honest, the FREE lunch program doesn’t always have kid friendly foods. No hate mail PLEASE because I know that there are some places that have great meals but let’s be honest, not all of them do.

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This year for $20, you can sponsor a thermal tote for a child in need. If you want to help BUT you don’t have $20, donate what you can – $1, $2, $5, or $10. Maybe finances are tight BUT you know a business that may want to help, GREAT! Let me know or forward this information to them. I will supply a list of business sponsors in every thermal tote along with blogging about them – FREE advertising for helping out a great cause. Where else could they get FREE advertising for $20 or $40?

Won’t you help to make a difference today? You can fill out the form below or contact me directly. I will be happy to invoice you. Let’s bring a smile to the face of as many children as we can this school year. The deadline is July 18th!

Have ThirtyOne-derful day!

My Mission and My Vision

monday morning

I am ready to kick off the week, are you?  I am participating in a month long “lab” with the AMAZING Britt Bolnick of In Arms Coaching.  The name of the program is called “Creating Aligned Marketing That Doesn’t Feel Douchey“.  This virtual month long program brings together 32 awesome women from all over the country who are ready to grow their business.

I have been thinking a lot about what I want my business to look like and how I want to feel when I head into my office.  I LOVE my Thirty One business but I felt like something was missing.  I had an AHA vision about a month ago and I realized that my why is not about trips, or how much money I can make or even about the next promotion.

Most say that our “why” is what motivates us towards our vision. It is the emotional connection that you have every day with why you are doing what you are doing. For some this takes time to find – I can attest to that. For others, it is very easy.

Here is my emotional why:

I want to make a difference in people’s lives. I want to help women plan their first party in their home after a messy divorce. I want to make people smile when they are down with my silly happy mail. I want to help raise funds for that family that just can’t afford to pay for their child’s extra activities or medical expenses. 

Yes, I still need to pay bills.  Yes, I would love to earn a free trip.  The truth is that I am not a carrot chaser.  I am not the one to race to a goal to get a prize.  My prize is actually the smiles on the faces of the women that I talk to or the thank you note that lets me know that I made a difference.

After answering a series of questions during our first week, praying and a lot of writing, I was able to tweak my vision.  Visions are a broad picture about what you are passionate about, the thing that you talk about and would shout from the rafters. Your mission may change but your vision remains the same.  Here is my vision statement for my business:

“My vision is for a world where women are not judged on their circumstances but empowered to learn from them so that they can have harmony in their life and make a difference in the lives of those around them.”

I want to be able to use my Thirty One business to CELEBRATE -ENCOURAGE – REWARD women who are struggling.  I don’t want to be that person that just wants to book a party or sell a product or grow her team.  I want to touch the lives of women and let them know that God has a plan for each of them; even during their struggles.  I want to be the light that shines in their life.

My mission is to combine my passion for empowering women with my love for Thirty One Gifts products.  I will use my skills to support women who have or had life struggles and believe that those struggles define their life.  I will carry this out by offering opportunities via fundraising, gatherings with friends and 1-1 coaching where they can learn how to let their light shine.

The vision is cast and my mission is clear.  Now, to work on a plan to build my business or as others would like to call it a “business plan“.

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What is your DREAM or VISION that seems impossible? Share it with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!