Thankful Thursday

thankful-thursday

Today is Thankful Thursday.  I know the rest of the social media world thinks of today as “Throwback Thursday” but today I want to be “thankful”.

I am thankful for:

  • My Mom who loves me unconditionally
  • Being a child of divorce
  • My loving hubby
  • Being a mom
  • My guardian angels who always guide me
  • A family who supports me despite my faults and bad decisions
  • Mistakes I made in high school which changed my life
  • Mistakes I made in college which shaped my future
  • The variety of jobs as I looked for me
  • The friends who have come for a season and those who have stayed
  • My addiction
  • My relapse and recovery
  • My lack of confidence
  • My business and its roller coaster journey
  • My  weightloss struggle
  • My love of writing
  • My passion for helping others
  • My rocky walk with God
  • My MS
  • The rocky and winding road to find myself
  • and al of the other good, bad and ugly parts of my life

Thankful-for

My life has not been perfect, but today, I am deciding to view it through the lens of thankfulness and gratitude.  For it is those things which have helped to shape me.  It is those imperfections which have helped me to become the woman I am today.  Some days those same things take me on a dark journey of negativity BUT today is NOT one of them.

TODAY, I am thankful for the struggles because without them I would not be able to make a difference in the life of someone else. I would not be able to be compassionate. I would not have the desire to make others smile.

TODAY, I am thankful for a loving God who not only has forgiven me for my mistakes but continues to guide me.  I have faith and trust with Him, all things are possible.

So, what are you thankful for today?  Share with us and let’s celebrate our imperfections together.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

In The Eyes of a Child

Today’s is a re-blog of Vanessa Coppes

YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN FROM A MISTAKE IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO YOUR ABILITY TO GET OVER IT

Mistakes…We don’t like them, avoid them, blame them on others, run away from them…(sigh) but they happen. I am the first one to admit to imperfection and if I’ve learned anything in my 35 years is this: when a mistake has been made on your behalf, your opportunity to learn from it is in direct proportion to your ability to get over it. 

Quick example: My 5 year old son missed the school bus the other day. He was playing inside his new fort instead of standing by the window like he’s supposed to every morning 5 minutes before pickup time. His excitement to play in his new fort trumped his responsibility to be ready for school on time.

Now,  you may be wondering where was I while all of this was happening…Well, I was standing right there beside him.

See… I set a timer for him in the mornings because it helps us both stay on track. He knows how much time he has to play before school and I know when to crank up the heat. But he and I have had this “morning drama” more often than not. and since I’ve decided to steer clear from drama in my life, I realized he needed a consequence for his choice. I am trying to teach my son awareness and that there are good and bad consequences for the choices you make.

He heard the timer go off indicating him it was time to go, he ignored my request to go stand by the door… and a few minutes later, he heard the bus drive away from our house…all I could hear was a hysterical “NoOoOoOo!!!!!!”

Later that day, he apologized for not listening to me and said something that left in awe, “Mama, I am going to throw this day away and start with a better one tomorrow.” The next morning I did not have to say a word. In fact he was ready before I even asked him to.

Embrace mistakes as lessons in your personal development. Your opportunity to learn from it is in direct proportion to your ability to get over it.

How do YOU handle mistakes?  In my “previous life”, I was hesitant to admit my mistakes for fear of what people would think.  As we count the hours to the deadline for holiday orders, I pray I will embrace any mistakes I make.  When life gets crazy and we are rushed, mistakes happen… the question is, how will you handle it?

When I became a MOM many years ago, I learned it was important to admit my mistakes and take ownership of them.  I didn’t want my daughter growing up putting mom on a pedestal which could topple and crumble, leaving her filled with doubts and heartache.  It was a great learning lesson for me as I embraced my mistakes over the years.  I know it sounds crazy but some of those mistakes have made me the person I am today.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Are You An Effective Leader?

leaders

Deep down I believe we are all leaders.  Now, for some it may be a little deeper than others.  You know there are people who leading seems to come naturally, right?  Then there are others who struggle with doubt in their abilities to lead.  Which one are you? Or do you fall someplace in the middle.  I will admit, depending on the situation I can fall in either category.

The truth is, the only qualification for being a leader is “you make decisions which influence other people”.  Yup, it is as simple as it comes.  Since we are all leaders, we might as well work on being a great ones, right?

The key to becoming a great leader is not to focus on becoming “a great leader”  but to focus on whether or not you are someone worth following.  This can apply to anywhere you are a leader – our home, your job, your community or in your own business.

Every since Andy Andrews was a speaker at Thirty One’s National Conference, I have been diving into his books and his ideas.  He says there are THREE key qualities of someone who is worth following and they are:

unknown 1. They are truly transparent
This seems to be the new “buzz word” in the business world.  Being transparent means you always take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings in front of the people you’re leading. You don’t pretend to be perfect and you admit when you’re wrong.  I am definitely transparent!

A truly good leader will also know the difference between a mistake and a bad choice.  Do you know the difference?  A mistake is something accidentally done, but with good intentions. A bad choice is something purposely done.  I tend to make more mistakes than I do bad choices although when it came to my addictions I would have to say it was more bad choices.

Knowing how to handle the consequences of both by being transparent builds your followers’ loyalty.  When people understand your thinking and see you are human, they will want to follow you.

images   2. They know how to get back on track
Leaders along with their followers make mistakes and poor choices.  A great leader will know how to get not only themselves but also their followers back on track when they are negatively affected by a mistake or bad choice.

Leaders can shift perspective back to the big picture when things go wrong.  Leaders remain calm in the face of confusion and crisis.  When we are transparent, followers feel safe coming to us with their own mistakes and bad choices.

6a00e54f8c25c9883401157249b1b2970b3. They take advantage of teachable moments.
To remain a leader and help people grow, great leaders take advantage of opportunities to teach.  Don’t we do this as parents?

How many times have we let our “bad mood” handle a situation inappropriately?  The end result is not good and usually leads to a screaming match, right?  How often have you used a moment like this to be transparent with your kids.

As a single mom who was a recovering addict, I needed to acknowledge my bad choices and ask forgiveness.  If it was just a mistake, a simple apology worked to make things right.  If I made a bad choice, I didn’t wait to be transparent.  I easily shared what was happening with me and the fact it was no excuse for how inappropriately I had acted. I will admit, many thought I shared way too much with my young daughter BUT it always strengthened our relationship. The valuable teaching moments rarely occured at convenient times.  So, it meant stopping what I was doing, checking my emotions, and taking a sharp detour. Great leaders seize teachable moments, whether they’re inconvenient and uncomfortable.

It is easy to focus  on ourselves when we think about effective leadership but it can be overwhelming at time.  So, shy not shift from a “ME” perspective to an outward focus.

Ask yourself:

  • Who stands to gain from my improved leadership?
  • How will my leadership help those following me?
  • How would a steady, calm presence of leadership make those around me become more effective?

Picture those people in your mind—your family members, your co-workers, your employees, or whomever else you might be leading. They will give you all the motivation you need to become someone worth following.

Who do you follow?  Picture one of those leaders from your own life, right now.  What did they do to make you want to follow them?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Failure is Your Path to Success

b3001a6fb6534972a55856dab724ad8e

This is a re-blog of a past blog…. by the time you read this, I will be on the road to North Carolina.  Hubby and I are going to grab breakfast at Taylor Sam’s and then be on our way.  Our goal is to be in Sylva by 10PM……Hmm???

Today is going to be Tip Tuesday courtesy of Shari Hudspeth.  One of my all time favorite trainers.  Not only did I get to hear her at Thirty One’s National Conference but I also had the opportunity to meet her at a Leadership Retreat held by my Director, Hope Shortt.

I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

What makes a person successful?  Think about it, the people who are looked up to as being successful in their field have a common thread…They have all made mistakes – many of them and often failed in their efforts to succeed.  So, what makes us any different?

Why do we look at people who are tops in their field and only see the end result – fame, fortune, success?  Have you ever said “I don’t want to set any goals because I’m afraid I won’t reach them.”?  Maybe you didn’t say it outloud but I can almost bet at some point in your business career you thought it.  For some, it is easy to toss the thought aside and move forward.  For others, the task of changing the mindset is a little bit more difficult.

Fear of failure is normal. You are not alone if you are afraid to set goals, to step out and take the action that will make your dreams a reality.  The big question we have to ask ourselves is, “Do I want it badly enough to do whatever it takes to get it?”

WOW!  That last question hits home for me because there are some days I don’t think I want it badly enough.  I make excuses why I can’t pick up the phone, book parties, or recruit new consultants.  Then there are days when I jump right in and don’t let anything stand in my way.  What’s the difference, right?  I actually keep remembering what Shari says: “Failure is your path to success.”

d611bf721ab94878a442585c3833400d

So what, you messed up a call – I do it all of the time.  The best laid plans go array, so what.  You ask some one to book a party, they say no – so what.  You stepped outside of your comfort zone.  Haven’t we always been told “practice makes perfect”.  Okay, so I am not shooting for perfection but I am practicing stepping out of my comfort zone.  With each mistake, I get better and better.  Things get a little easier – approaching potential customers or recruits, picking up the phone, or asking people to book a party.

I tried to have my own business before and each time I learned a lesson.  First was the premature baby clothes and learning about retail sales.  Next was being a consultant to non-profit agencies and learning how to share what I do to help them and their clients.  Now with Thirty One, I am learning every day.  I love being challenged despite the fact that Doubtful Debbie likes to stop by for a visit.

So, are you ready to step out of your comfort zone to take the action you need to so you will go in the direction of your dreams?  Take the first small step – STRETCH!  If you fail, so what.  Get up.  Dust your self off and start again.

Remember the people who you admire as a success all failed during their life so why should you be any different.

Don’t let another day go by without moving in the direction of your dreams. There is nobody more worthy of living their dreams than you are!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Are You Good Enough?

sparkle

Do you know what day it is????  Well, if it is Hump Day – it must be WOOHOO Wednesday, right?  Today, we CELEBRATE and ENCOURAGE you to let you SPARKLE.

We all have inner gremlins.  Have you ever wondered how you can prevent that “inner gremlin” of low self-esteem from creeping in and setting up camp?  Have you ever felt like “I’m not good enough”?  Have you ever thought “I can’t do that”?  Tidbits of negative beliefs creep in every day even when we least expect it.

For some, they quickly turn it around, slamming the door on that inner gremlin.  Then others let the negative thought simmer for a moment before kicking it to the curb. Then there are some who let that negative thought of “I’m not good enough” ruin their entire day.  So where do you fall in the spectrum of stomping out this inner gremlin?

slaying IG

When self-doubt creeps in here are some tips that might help:

1. Remember that “Life is perfectly imperfect”.

Strive for personal excellence instead of perfection. When we try to be perfect, we set ourself up for failure and Negative Nelly starts to creep in.  Look for a personal best that works for you and when you reach it – CELEBRATE!

2. Positive thinking is your decision.

Yes, you get to decide if you want to allow positive thinking to come to your rescue when negativity is banging on the door.  To turn things around, you must have faith, release the fear, and keep your focus on solutions. Positive thinking can improve any situation, no matter how awful it may appear.

3. Everyone makes mistakes!

Yes, EVERYONE! The real truth is that mistakes teach us and allow us to grow. Mistakes are evidence we are trying and doing the best we can.  As we learn and grow from our mistakes, we begin to see more success in our life. Success takes work and mistakes are part of that.

4. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

You’re doing the best you can.  Your light is shining, no matter how small the flame.  Think of a flower garden – every flower blooms at it’s own pace and shows it’s unique beauty. Continue reaching for the light, and much like the flower, your life will come into bloom as well.

5. You deserve your own unconditional love and forgiveness.

“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”- Max Ehrmann

By letting go of bitterness, resentment and negative feelings; you can move to forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Forgiveness allows you to “love YOU no matter what”. It will lead you to more positive feelings of understanding, compassion and empathy, allowing you to embrace the experience.

6. You can’t always change things, but you can ALWAYS change the way you look at things.

This moment, this negative thought was created by a collection of past thoughts, words and actions.
The bottom line is that times can get tough – but you need to believe that you’re tougher.

When you believe you ARE good enough to create the life you desire, and you believe that YOU ARE good enough to make it through any situation. Amazing things happen.  The way you look at things suddenly change, and before you know it, your reality positively changes with it.

Now, who was it that said you’re not good enough?

Hope you have a ThirtyOne-derful day!