Value Yourself

My weightless journey has been a journey.  Actually more like a roller coaster.  Last week at our meeting we talked about valuing ourself no matter what the scale says.  This was like a SMACK in the head for me.

The numbers on the scale have always played a factor in how I feel about me.  No, let me be honest, when I was at my heaviest I didn’t get on a scale.  I had no clue how much I weighed and being clueless seemed to be okay with me.  I liked myself as I hid behind the weight not letting anyone get too close.  Does this story sound familiar?

I walked into the doors of Weight Watchers seeing myself through different eyes.  The eyes of the scale.  It didn’t get really hard until I got closer to my goal weight.  As the number got lower, the insecurities of my youth came out.  No, I didn’t head to the nearest shrink to bare my soul – I began fighting the inner gremlins with some help of some really good people. I learned to start seeing myself as others see me.

I know what does all of this have to do with anything, right?  How many of us let the number on the scale define us especially when we are on a weightless journey?  We let our self-worth be connected to the number on the scale.  When it goes down, we are happy.  When it goes up, the inner gremlins join us in beating ourselves up.  It is time to stop the madness.

Recognizing and appreciating ourselves for our many gifts and talents is not an easy task. The reality is when we feel good about ourselves, we are more likely to have a positive outlook on life, take better care of ourselves and the end result is we lose weight.  The better we feel about ourselves, the easier it is to lose weight.  Think about your own journey….

I remember doing a VERY scary exercise when I began trying to squash my inner gremlins.  I was told to ask 5 friends and/or family what they thought my best qualities were.  In other words, how would they describe me?  YIKES!  I sent the message out and was definitely not ready for the responses I received.  I was told I was kind, generous, compassionate, determined, helpful and strong.  I didn’t see myself from their perspective. But on my worst days (seems to be quite a few lately), I go back to the list and repeat the positive traits over and over again.  Why?  So I can feel and believe them again.

What can you do to see yourself through loving eyes?  No, I am not suggesting you reach out to family and friends to ask for their input (unless you want); I am suggesting you find a quiet spot, grab a piece of paper and a pen, reflect AND…..

THINK about someone in your life who cares about you; a friend or relative, spouse or significant other.

FOCUS on the person for a minute and describe them in words or draw a picture.  What do they look like? Height? Eye color? Hair? Do they smile a lot? Do they have a soft or loud voice?  How would you describe their personality?

CONSIDER what makes this person special to you.  Does thinking of this person make you happy?  Excited? Loving? How do they make you feel?

IMAGINE you are this person who loves YOU and start to see yourself through their eyes.  What do you like about this person you see?  Write down thoughts, feelings and behaviors you love about yourself.  I know this is tough.  You may just start with “I like my eyes” – something simple.  Then dig deeper.  Think about the qualities you have down deep – are you caring? kind? passionate about life or a cause? hard worker? friendly?

COME BACK to yourself and read what you wrote.  You will notice a growing appreciation for how you feel about yourself.

Believe me, I get how tough this can be.  I struggle with it too. Do this once a week for one month and read the positive qualities daily.  You will be amazed at the difference it will make in your life.  Thirty days make a habit, right?

Change those negative, unhelpful thoughts into positive thoughts.  Changing your mindset is the first step to make a difference in your life which will give the ripple effect of making a difference in the lives of those around you.  Share you best qualities with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Choose Your Own Direction

WOOOHOO!  Do you know what day it is?

Yes, it is still HUMP day even though it is a short week for most people since Monday was a holiday.

For those who read my blog often, you know I am a HUGE fan of Carrie Wilkerson and Lysa TerKeurst.  Put the two together and talk about motivation….

Lysa TerKeurst shared this quote recently:

‘You steer where you stare.

Okay, we all know this in our head, right?  Think about when you were learning to drive a car.  I was great for looking at things all around me and as a result, the car went in the same direction.  I was also learning to drive a clutch at the same time.  The two definitely did not mix well.  It made for may heated driving lessons with dad.  We all had to learn to focus on where we wanted to go.  I used to do the same thing when I was walking.  Looking at something on the right and the next thing I knew, I was walking towards it, cutting off anyone who was next to me or in my path.

It is the same, If you are focused on envy or fear or scarcity or lack… it will be near impossible not to VEER towards those.  The Universe will bring you want you are focused on.  Positive brings positive.  Negative brings negative.

When I started this new “eating plan” which was very limited to help control my candida, I focused on the things I couldn’t eat.  Everywhere I turned, there was fruit, seafood, dairy and the dreaded gluten.  With the help of my Weight Watchers leader, Michelle, I started looking at food differently.  I focused on the things I could eat.  As a result, I went from feeling deprived and sad about what I couldn’t have to enjoying what I could have.  The result, the other stuff went away (okay, maybe not but I wasn’t looking for them now).

Apply this to just about anything in your life.  I have positive mantras I read every morning.  Some mornings, I don’t want to be bothered and the result is I lose focus.  When we focus on positivity, abundance, tiny successes, encouraging scripture, and affirmations, we do well!  When we focus on negativity, the end result is a “shitty” day, right?

We need to face FRONT!  Thirty-One Gifts founder Cindy Monroe says… ‘I spend more time looking through the windshield than the rearview mirror. Why would I focus there? I’m not going that way!’

Don’t focus on what you’re leaving behind…focus on what you’re running towards!

Dana Wilde, Train Your Brain, shares positive mantras every day so we can adjust our brain and our vision. It takes time but it can happen.  Steer the boat (or your thoughts) in the direction you want to go and it will happen.  Maybe not overnight but it will happen.

I have changed my focus in my weightless journey and the pounds are slowing coming off.  Inching my way back to goal.  In my business, I no longer talk about “no one wants to party”, I am thinking positively and taking steps to make it happen.  The truth is, I can still have a successful business without parties (I proved it in April when I had no parties but hit my personal goal), it is just easier when you have them.

I dare you to adjust your brain, your vision and your focus today!  Share with us the change you are going to make then let us know how it changed your day so we can celebrate with you.  OR share a struggle so we can help you overcome it.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

The Battle of Negative Attraction

The ongoing battle of “negative attraction” or you may know it as a “fatal attraction”.  We know what a fatal attraction is in relationships, right?  It is that person that we are attracted to no matter how much in our head, we know that this person is not right for us.  We have all been there at some time in our life and hopefully have outgrown it.

Did you ever think about it relating to your business?  I know Negative Nellie very well and she hovers outside my door waiting for an invitation to come in.  I am often rude and slam the door in her face.

Have you been trying to reverse “negative attraction” in your business  by doing positive mantras, visualizing your desires, and thinking BIG!  Yet, despite your best efforts nothing seems to work.  You question the path you are on.  You question your purpose?  You wonder if your dreams are just not meant to be?  Does this sound familiar?  I have been there and on some days am still there…

The truth is that no matter how hard I “work”, my mind still drifts to my “lack of” and as a result, I generate more lack.  Does that make sense?  It is about changing our energy.  It is about only doing the things that align with our desires.  WOW!  Believe me, it is a lot harder (at least for me) then it sounds.

Let’s go back to “fatal attraction” relationship.  The person wasn’t right for you for so many reasons.  During that relationship, more negatives came into your life than positives.  If you are like me, you wrote them off and tried to push them aside.  Then one day – SMACK!  You realized that it was time to let the relationship go.  When you did, the universe started changing for you.  It may not have happened overnight.  It may not have been obvious but positive things started to happen.  Maybe you got a raise.  Maybe opportunities started to show up.  Now let’s go back to your business…

If you were to apply the same principle to your business what do you think would happen?  More parties, more recruits, and more goals/incentives achieved.  That is what happens when we are in harmony with our core values.

Do you know what your core values are?  There is an article in Inc magazine that helps you with this process.  Or, on FamilyLife.com.

What are your core values?  Just when I think I know what mine our, I have another AHA moment.  So I am off to work on mine, then I will share.  What about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

#corevalues, #negativeattraction, #business, #buildingdreams