Do You Struggle with Confidence?

Are you a people pleaser?  If so, you may struggle with confidence.  Why do I say that?  Well, as people pleasers, our world can be crushed when some says “they are disappointed in us” or they get upset with us.  Our confidence is shaken and the inner gremlins begin to bounce around in our head.

As we start a new year, it is time to work towards a new you.  One who is confident and believes you are good enough.  My goal in life has always been to bring a smile to the face of others.  Somewhere along the way, the people pleaser side took over and I lost myself.

Last year, I caught glimpses of how talented I was yet there was something deep inside me which believed I wasn’t good enough.  On the days I feel confident, I know I am good at running my businesses and the joy shines out for all to see.  On the days those inner gremlins are chipping away at my confidence, I sit in wonder and doubt about everything I have done in my life or am planning on doing.  Those days can be crippling.

I’m sure I am not alone.  Many of us have been taught to “fake it until we make it”.  For some it works – they can mask their lack of confidence closing the door on those inner gremlins.  There are others (like me) who wear their emotions on their sleeve.  How many times have you been told “get over it”, “pull yourself together”, or the one which makes me the craziest “you should be over this already”.

Sometimes it is more complicated.  Sometimes, it is tough to get over the self-limiting beliefs which have haunted us for years.  We can overcome them with compassion, and patience.

#1 Get to the heart of it

Your struggle with confidence exists for a reason. Maybe someone told you once you weren’t good enough. Maybe you weren’t nurtured growing up. Maybe you were crushed too many times.  Painful, horrible, heartbreaking things can happen in our lives. Some big, some small, which all affect how we feel about ourselves.  Diving deep into these experiences and our stories can help us connect the dots to see where we are now.

#2 But don’t live there

We get stuck!   Once we own the things which shaped and affected our confidence, it’s easy to feel defeated, overwhelmed, and even a little angry.  But we can’t stay in there because we can’t thrive if we do.  It’s our job to move forward, rewriting the stories we’ve told ourselves.  We need to grow confidence in our skills and in ourselves moving forward every day.  The most important part is  letting go of the things which don’t serve us along the way.

#3 Surround yourself with the right things

Everything we surround ourselves with shapes our perspective and experience – it all matters.  We need to surround ourselves with people who believe in us, who inspire us, and who cheer us on every step of the way.  Look for ways to push yourself to be the very best version of you.  STOMP out those inner gremlins which make you feel small or overwhelmed. It is important to nurture your mind and your body. Fill your days with the things which bring you joy, inspires you to take action, and supports you to show up with a whole heart to your work and your life.

#4 Focus on you, not your fears

Fear can be healthy and it is an unavoidable part of living life. But when we devote our time and energy to honing, growing, and nurturing ourselves, we can grow confident in our creative work and life.  The more we show ourselves what we’re capable of, the more we build grow and the more confident we become.  Don’t let self-doubt and fear distract you from becoming the crazy-awesome creative person you’re meant to be.

#5 You’re the one who your lack of confidence hurts the most

OUCH!  This is and was the toughest realization for me.  If I give into my fears, if I let my self-doubt take the wheel, the person who suffers the most is me.  Believe me is won’t be easy – facing ourselves, our biggest fears, and our toughest experiences.  By believing we are capable of more, and we are worthy of running in the direction of a life which feels true to us takes a whole lot of courage.  Becoming confident takes time.  We need to show up every day, even when this inner gremlins in our head are telling us we should quit.  We need to push through the crap so we can get to the good stuff.

The truth is: it’s always, always, worth it.  When we believe in ourselves, once we bear witness to our gifts, strengths, and creativity, we can start to do incredible work in the world and  build a life which is impactful, fulfilling, and sustainable.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Let’s Get Organized

So, who is humming “Let’s Get Physical” as they read the title of today’s blog?  This month I am going to focus a lot on getting organized.  WHY?  Because it is the top New Year’s Resolutions people make.  Was it one of yours?

I admit I can be a ‘hot mess”!   From my desk and my office to the dust bunnies under the coach.  I  love to de-clutter and organize but am often overwhelmed by it.  Crazy right since I have lots of tips for everyone else?  I used to be a “just in case” gal.  The one who saved things in case they were needed from crafts to knickknacks…. you get the picture.

I am working on a room, maybe a closet/cabinet at a time cleaning things out.  One the outside it may not look like much has been cleaned out but believe me, I have been decluttering.

Are you feeling overwhelmed already in the New Year?  Day 3 with everyone is back to work and school.  Do you have a hundred things going on –  work, family, social life, daily responsibilities, goals, and the list goes on, right?  Has the day just started and you feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all?

I tend to overcomplicate things. It isn’t intentional, it just happens. We are going to work on clearing the clutter (a little bit at a time) – emotionally and physically.  Once the clutter is gone, we can embrace the many blessings the Universe has for us.  So, here is some basics and we will talk about all of them in more detail as the month goes on…

CLEAN AS YOU GO

Don’t let the dishes pile up in the sink.  Put them in the dishwasher or wash them up.  Make the bed right after you get up in the morning. Open the mail as soon as you get home – tossing the junk mail. Have one spot to read later.  Doing things “as you go” will keep things neat.  It will also keep you from feeling overwhelmed or like you are constantly cleaning.

RE-EVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

We all have toxic relationships.  The people who suck the energy from us, are negative all of the time or just aren’t good for you. Don’t be afraid to cut ties with people like this. Your time is precious, so you want to spend it with people you care about, and people who make you feel good about you.  This is a process.

UNSUBSCRIBE

OMG!  You will be amazed at the difference this makes in your life.  How many hours do you spend deleting messages from your inbox without even reading the email? I routinely unsubscribe to lists instead of just hitting delete.  When you unsubscribe, you also stop getting emails from their “associates”.  Unsubscribing will not only make your inbox easier to read but may also cut down on the impulse shopping.  A whole other subject!

DE-CLUTTER

Get rid of old things like clothes, dishes, electronics, magazines, furniture you no longer need- donate what you can.  Too many material possessions sitting around can make you feel drained and can complicate things,  taking your attention away from what matter’s most.

WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS

Write down your top 3 daily goals. I put them in my planner and block time for – reading, cleaning tasks, calls to make, errands to run and  general life stuff.  I limit myself to 3 tasks in my business and 3 tasks in my home.  It has helped me to increase my focus and get things done.  It also helps me to stay in the moment when I am with friends and family.

FORGET MULTITASKING

We have all said it at some time “I’m good at multitasking.”.  Did you know multi-tasking is stressful and ultimately unproductive?   You can get so much more done when you focus on a single task, time-block and schedule your work.

CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE

Are you always running out the door in a rush?  What if you got up just 15 minutes earlier every morning?  Getting up a little earlier would give you more time to write your to-do list, prepare lunch and get ready for the day.  Write down the things you need to do in the morning and the time it takes to do them.  Then figure out what time you need to get up to get them done.  Be realistic!

RE-EVALUATE YOUR COMMITMENTS

This one is tough and takes practice, at least for me.  What matters most to you?  Home life, social life, work, side-gig, family, hobbies, friends, worship? If you are doing something you don’t love or it doesn’t give you value, give it up – if you can.  Focusing on the things which bring you joy or matters most to you will make a HUGE difference in your life.

SAY NO

How often do you feel obligated to say “yes” to something?  Did you know “NO” is a sentience all by itself?  We tend to forget it and try to explain why we can’t do something which opens the door for a conversation.  There is no need to explain yourself – if you don’t want to do it, just say no.

This year, why not focus on getting back to a simpler time in our lives.  Let’s start valuing our time.  Life is too short.   It is time to do the things we want and what we like doing. De-cluttering, getting rid of anything  which doesn’t serve you will help you simplify your life and feel more at peace.

Lots more tips and tricks on simplifying your life and de-cluyttering this month…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Declutter and Organize the Playroom

The holiday season is moving in and when Belinda was little, it used to mean a time to declutter and purge her toys.  When she was little, she had the toy box my dad made for me when I was little.  It had a “secret compartment”.  Actually, it had a board halfway down to make it easier to reach things.  So, the toys which were on the bottom of the toy box were placed under the board.  As time went on, those toys were forgotten about so it was easy to move them out.

Here are some tips which might help you get the kids ready for a declutter and purge project with the focus on cleaning out and not getting new stuff!

1. START THE CONVERSATION

Start by watching what the kids are playing with and what they aren’t.  You will notice some things have not moved off the shelves or out of the coset for awhile.  Once you have an idea of what those toys are, start casually mentioning it might be time to let those go.  As a social worker, Belinda loved to help me at work by giving things to other kids who may not have things so it was always a great way to get her to clean out the toys.

Was I always right on which ones should go? NO!  There were times when I thought something should go and she had a totally different opinion.  As a result, her level of attachment to something made a difference too on whether it went out the door.

2. GO IT ALONE FIRST

There were days when I would start to declutter on my own in her room.  I got rid of things which really needed to go (think: broken toys, unsafe things or worn out, trash, etc.).   I didn’t get rid of things she was really attached to but more things I knew she would never miss.  Remember the toys under the “secret compartment” or at the bottom of a toy box.

3. ADD THE KIDS

On a set morning of cleaning, or as Belinda would say “not attached, don’t have a purpose – mom is tossing” – I would ask for her help.  She knew, most of the time, what’s missing pieces, or hasn’t worked for a while, or what she is not using anymore, etc.  As much as she hated cleaning, she did like an organized room since it wasn’t very big.

Depending on the age of your kids, this process can be different.  If your kids are really small, you may want to go through things yourself and only ask them when something is borderline whether to keep or toss. As they get older, they might help for a little bit and them move on to playing or something since attention spans vary.  Be ready to be flexible with your kids since each one will process things differently.

4. DONATE AND/OR SELL!

This was always the fun part.  Belinda liked to share her things with other kids who may not have as much or better yet, sell them at a local yard sale for some pocket money.  Times have changed and now things are sold on Craiglist or in Facebook yard sales or maybe even the occasional garage sale.  I will admit, my favorite is donating to the local church rummage sale or homeless shelter.  Check out the various options in your area and let the kids help especially if you are donation them to a local mission or organization.

5. TIME TO ORGANIZE

This was when we had the most fun.  It usually meant new paint for Belinda’s room and as she got older, she got to pick the colors.  Then it was all about making things easily accessible – to get things out and to put them away.  All this while making the very best of a small space.  We did closet organizers, and a loft bed which left lots of floor space to work with.

I really wish I had know about Thirty One back then.  From Your Way Cubes to baskets to totes and more.  A great way to organize things with practical, fashionable and durable products.

Here are some ideas:

    

Your Way Cube: Each Cube comes with side handles for ease of transport and either a clear PVC window or chalkboard panel on the side so you’ll always know what’s inside. Add a Your Way Cube Lid to allow for space-saving stacking and to protect items inside. Cubes are all collapsible when not in use. Holds up to 35 lbs.

Hang-It Pocket Organizer: This is a convenient catch-all for all the loose odds and ends. Use it to hold pencils, pens, staplers, paper clips, file folders and calculators in the office; note pads, mail, coupons, keys, batteries and flashlights in the kitchen; or gloves, hats, pet products, ice scrapers, shoe horns and more in the mud room.

Stand Tall Bin:  With 2 exterior handles and a sturdy frame, it’s easy to carry anywhere and capable of holding up to 50 lbs. Put one in each of your kids’ rooms for laundry or to store toys, games, play clothes or sports equipment, or place it in your guestroom to store extra towels, bedding, blankets and other useful items.

What is your favorite organizational tool works for you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Prepping to Declutter

Happy Monday!  Everywhere you turn people are looking to declutter their home and their life.  Let’s be honest, we all have too much stuff.  Whether you are a confessed hoarder or just a gatherer – there is plenty of things we can let go of, right?  For some the process is easy.  My daughter used to say when I was in “de-clutter mode” – if you aren’t attached or a have a purpose, you are going.

I would love to say, I am the one who declutters and sells things.  Well, it used to be the case.  Set up at a local flea market, sell things dirt cheap and then donate the rest.  Unfortunately things have changed.  Flea markets are harder to come by and most people are looking on social media to do their shopping.  Now, it just is easier to donate things – to a local cause or to the church rummage sale.

The reality is many of us have a hard time letting go (of anything).   Have you ever thought about “prepping” to declutter?  Let’s face it, decluttering is hard. If it wasn’t we would have done it a long time ago, right?  

I found a great blog post by “Creating My Happiness” with some tips on preparing for our decluttering journey.  With my recent health struggles, I get overwhelmed easily by all the stuff in the house.  I would love minimalism but I am not sure it is for us, but I definitely wanted to get as close to clutter free as we can get.Mental Preparation
Yes, you need to mentally prepare to declutter.  You have to be ready to let go of stuff. I mean it is easy to say “we have way too much stuff” but when we actually have to declutter and toss, we have a hard time making it happen.  We develop attachments to our things, remembering where we got them or who gave them to us. Or are you a “just in case” person?  The one who keeps things around because someday you may need it.

On a sliding scale from 1 to 10, how much stuff do you have; with 1 being completely minimalist and 10 being Hoarders level clutter.  We are probably in the 5 or 6 range in our house.  If I honestly opened all of the drawers and closets.

Now, you know where you are in the scale – where would you like to be?  Be honest about it.    I mean if you are at an 8, you are not going to get to a 2 in just one round of decluttering.  Also, you need to consider if you would be happy living at a 2 with little stuff. For some, it is the stuff which brings them happiness more than it brings them stress.

What to have on hand
You are ready to go.  You have mentally prepared yourself and now you need to make sure you have the tools to help you be successful. Yes, there are tools to decluttering!

Garbage bags. I love the suggestion of having 2 different color trash bags. This way you can use one color for items you’re tossing, and the other for items you are donating. Kristen of We Are That Family. suggests the items we donate should be things we no longer need, but we would use ourselves if we did need them. Having worked the last rummage sale at church, we sale many things people should have just tossed in the trash or recycled like torn clothes, or broken toys.

Cleaning supplies. Yup, you are going to have to clean as you are clearing out stuff.  Dust bunnies have found a home.  Hairballs (the cat sheds like crazy!).  So, make sure you have a vacuum nearby, dusters, and cleaning spray. My new favorite all purpose cleaner is a vinegar/water mix because it gets rid of odors while it cleans.  I was amazed how well this simple solution cleans.

Your phone. No, it is not so you can check social media or get side tracked from you decluttering mission.  You can take pictures of items you want to get rid of, ask if anyone wants them, or sell them in a local tag sale group. The key is to put a time limit on how long you’ll hold on to these things though. Put them all in one spot (or box) so if they eon’t go, you can donate them.  You don’t want to clutter up another spot hanging on to things for others.

Having a moment of indecision?  Not sure what to do about something you have never worn or used given to you by a family member?  Call a friend, let them be your lifeline.  Use your phone so they can remind you, even though you get rid of the ugly sweater, you’re not getting rid of the love or memories of the person who gee it to you.

So who’s ready to declutter! What are your best tips for getting ready to declutter?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Is your Business Swim Suit Ready?

Everywhere I turn, people are on a mission to get “swimsuit ready”.  We start thinking about the warmer weather around Easter, by Memorial day the reality hits, by mid-June school is over and then July 4th – the official start of summer (at least on the East Coast) SMACKS us in the face.

I know I shutter at the thought of bringing my winter body out of hibernation and squeezing it into pieces of nylon and spandex.  Despite the weight loss there is still a lot of skin.  I actually fit in last year’s suit just not happy about the excess skin hanging around.

I know, what does tho have to do with getting your business ready for summer, right?

If I’m being completely honest, I actually love being in the water and have ever since I was little (young not size – LOL).  I just let the way I look and what people will think take over.  So I usually avoid the pool or sit on the sidelines all covered up worried about what others will think.   

Think about your business for a minute.  As a direct seller, I have always heard “the J months are the worst” and yes I have talked about it ALOT!  We send encouragement to others and share with our teams, to face their fears, put themselves out there, not worry what others think and to serve people even when it seems scary or uncomfortable.  But do we practice what we preach?

What would we be teaching them if we just hid and never put ourselves out there? Think about all the missed opportunities we would have.  Think about the other people who may see you and think, “If she can do it so can I.”

To be brutally honest – just like your body (or at least mine), your business may never be swimsuit “Ready”.  You will probably always have doubts, insecurities, or even question if people will look, stare, and point at you for thinking you can actually ROCK your business.

The bottom line is you have a passion for what you do.  You have people to serve. There are people who need you – yes, they need exactly what you have to give RIGHT NOW not when everything is 100% perfect.

Because let’s face it… nothing is ever going to be 100% perfect.  Are you waiting for perfect?

We have two choices in our business AND this summer:

1) We can sit on the sidelines watching the rest of the world having fun, making memories, launching businesses, and serving others.

OR

2) We can STOP waiting for perfect.  We can suck it up, put our businesses out there and ROCK it stretch marks and all!

Start today putting your business out there, whether it’s perfect or not.  Be a walking billboard with your products.  Start connecting with other people, growing and serving. We aren’t getting any younger and you’ve got a lot of people who need your voice and your message!

I know, I get it – you still feel like your business is not ready, right?  Share with us what’s holding you back.  Let us be your cheerleaders!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!