An Unhealthy Sense of Responsibility

 Raise your hand if this is you…………. Do you feel like you have to deal with things, even things you have no control over?  Do you take blame for things even if you were not responsible?  Do you act independently when making decisions, even if you don’t have the “authority”?
Many would say those who “take responsibility” make successful leader but what happens why you take ownership of not just your tasks but everyone else’s?  There is actually such a thing as over-responsibility.  We know if you are managing people, a workload, or a household, not much gets done if you don’t take responsibility on a daily basis.   BUT when you become “overly responsible”, you could be sabotaging your schedule, your effectiveness, and the people around you.
As I wrap up things before heading out “super early” tomorrow morning for a week of my “pink bubble” with my daughter…. I am feeling overly responsible.  I am stressing and all of this stress is for things I have no control over!  I can set things up but the rest is in God’s hands and the hands of others.

If you stress whether people in your life will hold up their end of a task, so you step in to take on tasks, you are being over-responsible. Yup, I have been known to do this…

Do you suffer from any of these signs of over-responsibility?

1. You behave as though everything and everyone depends on you.

I’m not sure if I developed this trait as a child during a time of family struggles or if it came years later during my days of addiction BUT this is me.  Pride gets the best of me sometimes.  We are we are the one with all the answers, fixing every problem. Do you define yourself by this ability?

2. You answer questions for other people, instead of letting them answer for themselves.

If this is you, be honest with yourself. Why do you do it? If you stopped, what would happen? Whatever your answer, it’s the issue it’s time to address.  Thankfully, this is something I have already addressed in myself.  I love hearing from others.

3. You consistently remind the people in your life of their own responsibilities because they aren’t responsible enough to remember on their own.

OUCH!  There is a difference between harassment and gentle reminders of daily responsibilities.  Do you keep up with your schedule – and everyone else’s. I have a hard enough time lately keeping up with my own due to health struggles so others have stopped relying on me so much.  Have others in your life stopped taking responsibility for their schedule because they rely on you?  Do you hear more often than not “You never told me,” “I didn’t know,” or “Just tell me what you need me to do”?  Time for them to take responsibility for their own life!

4. You consistently do for others what they can do for themselves.

Yup, this is me.  The proverbial people pleaser!  Instead of reminders, do you just do it?  Are you stressed because of it? Have people stopped asking for your help because they just want help? Lending a helping hand is wonderful but when you take on responsibilities which aren’t yours; you stunt the growth of others not allowing them to live up to their potential. So instead of helping, you’re doing just the opposite.

5. You avoid confronting people as much as possible.

I am not good with confrontation (remember I am a people pleaser!)  So when you have to get others to change their behavior, it can mean strained conversations. Do you refuse to confront issues? If so, you might be allowing others to be irresponsible just to avoid having a conversation about boundaries.

6. You are resentful people feel entitled to your generosity.

You’ve been over-responsible for so long people in your life have come to expect it. You’ve trained them to rely on you for things which should not be your responsibility. And deep down, you now resent it. This is the sign which indicates the problem has been going on far too long.

So, here is my challenge:  Use the signs to identify when and who you are “overly-responsible”.  Consider both your personal, community and professional life.  Be honest with yourself.  What steps are you going to take to share the responsibility?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What will You Give Up To Have Success


I’m so excited…in just 4 short days, I will be leaving NJ to head to Columbus Ohio.  Okay, for some that may not sound exciting but for me it is a HUGE milestone.  It is HUGE for me because health challenges have subsided enough that I can travel.  I will be attending Thirty One’s National Conference.  I will be entering my pink bubble to re-connect with old friends and connect with new ones.  I will soaking up lots of training and getting a sneak peek at the NEW Fall prints and products.  WOOHOO!!

So this week, I will be talking about working from home and building a business that you love.  For those who say “I don’t have a business so this won’t pertain to me”, if you are a stay at home MOM, you are working.  Here are some things that I “gave up” in order to become successful in my business…

It’s selfish to consider my own needs first.

As women, we take care of EVERYONE!  We continually place our needs at the bottom of the list.  Not only can this mindset stop you cold in your ability to sell your products and recruit new team mates; it can also leaving your cup empty with nothing to give to anyone else. If you are overly focused on everyone else you will have a hard time asking for business (or help with household tasks). It is important to fill your cup on a regular basis.


It’s my fault if others aren’t happy.

This is a tough one and I struggle with this in all aspects of my life.  You are not responsible for the feelings of others. Read that again and let it sink in.  There is NOTHING that you can do that will make unhappy people happy.  The reverse is also true that no one can make you unhappy either.  I encourage you to focus on what you can control (yourself) and let go of what you can’t (others).  I know this can be easier said then done.


I must say “YES” when people ask me for my time.

No is a very powerful word. If you can get comfortable with it, you can free yourself from a lot of unnecessary commitments and headaches. If you are leading a team, saying NO to complaining, excuses and drains on your time can be empowering. Running a household, don’t allow people to suck you dry. Invest your time where you want and allow others to feel however they choose (check out #2!).

I wish things were different than they are right now.

Do you think like this?  When you feel like this, are you ready to quit before you even get start?  Forget about pursuing your dream, right? This is part of the comparison game of life.  Here’s a secret….you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust the process, keep working and know that each day you are making progress, learning new things and becoming the person you need to be

Tough lessons no matter where you are in your life.  I have found in the last month or so, when I began to accept 100% responsibility for my own actions, thoughts and attitudes, I am able to smile more and stress less.  My business is blooming (again), and there is more harmony at home.

Share your thoughts with us…Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!




National Bubble Week


pink bubbles

I am always in a “pink bubble” but did you know that today starts the celebration of National Bubble Week.  It runs from today through March 22!   It is the “unofficial holiday” where families can enjoy the start of warmer weather by enjoying a timeless and carefree spring activity of blowing bubbles in their backyards, playgrounds or local parks.

National Bubble Week was started by Gazillion Bubbles who celebrated their 10th anniversary last year of bringing ‘un-bubble-believable’ fun to families nationwide. Gazillion’s has an  impressive line-up of bubble toys including the Typhoon 2.0 bubble fountain that blows more than 5,000 bubbles per minute!

Did you know that National Bubble Week was started as a way to extend the seasonal selling of this beloved toy. What better way to keep a seasons product on the shelf long after the summer?  I mean who doesn’t love this classic toy that is fun for all ages.

Funrise Toys has a line of One & Only Gazillion Bubbles which is the the first branded bubble product with a patented bubble solution.  And I thought it was as easy as a little bit of water and dish detergent?

So, grab some bubbles and start blowing!  OR you can always join me in my Thirty One pink bubble!  Do you have any special memories of blowing bubbles that you want to share?  We would love to hear them.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Give Your All


Do you know what day it is???? That never gets old for me and always makes me smile.

Picture this…. you have a home party scheduled for tonight.  You didn’t get much sleep last night for whatever reason (kids, work, sick, etc).  You had a rough day at work.  The kids (or hubby) are making you crazy.  The babysitter is going to be a little late.  Then your hostess calls or texts to tell you that she isn’t sure how many people are coming.

mrbill1How do feel?  Stressed?  Really don’t want to go do the party?  Negative Nellie is already taking up residence in your head, right?

The reality is that your hostess has invited you into their home and almost guaranteed you a paycheck.  No matter how many people are there once they touch and see your products you will have sales or maybe even a new recruit.  Do you want your hosts’ party guests to see a stressed out hot mess or do you want to give them a good impression?

Life happens and the truth is, the guests at the party are probably trying to escape the same stress factors.  So what are you going to do?  Do you want them to have fun or do you want their first impression of you to be a bad one?

Remember 80% of communication is BODY LANGUAGE! Make sure you are showing the correct message, even on the phone.  I know, you are thinking, what difference does it make if I look like I am mad at the world – I am on the phone.  Has anyone ever asked if you were okay because they heard a “tone” in your voice?  Body language can be read over the phone.

So, no matter where you are – talking to customers and hosts on the phone, delivering orders, running errands or out and about. Put a smile on your face and give 110%.  I have found that even on my worse days when I put a smile on things look better.  Even if you have to fake it till you make it.

In direct sales, we are always ON!  Here is a great example… I was at lunch with two friends last week.  We were laughing and talking amongst ourselves, not paying any attention to the people around us.  A customer at the next table wanted to know “what we had” because we were so happy.  After a brief conversation, I shared a catalog and I now have TWO parties booked with this woman.  The reason – she said we were having a lot of fun and wanted to know more.

Was I planning on booking a party?  No!  Did I really feel like talking business? No!  I was out having lunch with friends to catch up.  But as soon as the opportunity came to share, my body language changed and my face lit up.  The “pink bubble” was shared with anyone who would listen.  If I had of just flatly answered her question and then ignored her, I would not be sitting here with 2 parties on the books.

Give 110% all of the time and who knows what the results will be…

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!


The Compound Effect

pink bubbles

You are probably wondering what the “pink bubbles” are all about, right?  Last week, I spent an AMAZING week in the PINK BUBBLE of Thirty One.  I know that I blogged about what would be happening but that really didn’t capture the emotion of the week.  I am going to share what I learned on building my business, about myself and about my dreams.  As I write each day, I am hoping all of the emotions will flow through and you will see how powerful this week was for everyone involved in National Conference.

In true Thirty One style, the first day of training got me to thinking about my business and how I was going to build it!  Director’s Day is for the top 4% of the company.  WOW!  I am humbled by the fact that I am a part of this elite groups of leaders.  The discussion then focused on the “compound effect”.  The compound effect is the principal of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices.  The compound effect of new conversations will lead to NEW customers, NEW Hostesses and NEW Consultants.  

So, the compound effect is about building relationships.  I know, you have heard this a zillion times in direct sales.  I mean isn’t “relationship building” the latest buzz words?  Let’s talk about the key relationships that build your business along with some tips that may help you GROW your business:

  • New Contacts – Each day we are in contact with LOTS of people, many of whom we don’t know.  We meet them in the grocery store, the bank, the post office, at lunch or during the hundreds of errands we run every day.  Are you making the most of those conversations?  New conversations each week is an easy way to building your business IF you are intentional about it.  Set a goal of giving out 5 – 10 business cards daily.  Share a catalog with them AND get their information so that you can follow up.
  • Customers – When you build relationships with Customers, you are strengthening your business.  THINK about a time with you had great Customer Service?  How did it feel?  Are you providing that same kind of extraordinary service to your customers?  Try the “pink glove service” at each and every party making each customer feel important.  When they experience great customer service, they are happy to recommend you to their friends and family.  Why not ask for a referral from those customers who LOVE the pink glove service?
  • Hostesses – Everyone in your business deserves a little CELEBRATE – ENCOURAGE – REWARD to feel appreciated but especially your hostess.  This should happen before, during and after her party.  Create special moments for your hostesses outside of the party by using a variety methods – snail mail, cards, Red Stamp, text messages, etc. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money just being thought of makes someone feel special. The compound effect of CELEBRATING, ENCOURAGING and REWARDING your hostesses will result in a calendar filled with past Hostesses and the NEW ones they’ve referred to you because of the way you made them feel.  Building strong hostess relationships is a fun and easy way to grow your business.  Your hostess is the gateway to her friends and can be one of your biggest cheerleaders – she might even be your next recruit!
  • Recruits – Recruiting new consultants is part of the Thirty One (or any direct sales company) opportunity and a cornerstone activity of being a leader.  There are two key parts to successful recruiting: insetting in her “why” and celebrating her milestone moments.  Celebrate your new recruit’s milestone moments on the way to her WHY!  The compound effect of recruiting is building your team and creating a recruiting culture.

The compound effect lets us take small steps in all areas of our business and build on them to GROW our business in a positive and intentional way.  What are your best tips for building successful relationships?  Share your best tips with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!