Bounce Back from Rejection

 Do you hate hearing the word NO?  I know I do whether it is in my business or in my personal life.  No matter what, I usually take it personally.  Crazy, right?  I mean when I ask someone to join my team or host a party and they say NO, does it really mean they don’t like me?  Probably not.  They just aren’t interested in the “offer”.

I love this analogy…. Do you think a waiter/waitress gets upset or takes it personal when they offer you desert and you say no?  Do you think they stop offering?  No, they just keep asking and eventually someone will say YES!

How often does the fear of hearing the word “no” stop you in your tracks?  As a result you keep your ideas to yourself.  Or maybe you hold back from asking for what you want (or need)? Or maybe you never step out of your comfort zone?  Whatever the fear keeps you from doing, it has definitely led you into living a life of regret.

Do you know someone who is resilient?  Do you know someone who no matter what keeps moving forward to reach their goal?  Do you long to be the person who doesn’t take NO personally?

Here are four ways to change the way you see the word “no” so you keep moving forward, don’t get your feelings hurt, and get up the courage to try again:

1. Other’s rejection can be heaven-sent protection.

  Yes, sometimes a “no” deserves a happy dance. Believe it or not, the Universe might have just saved you.  Think of it as if you just dodged a bullet you didn’t even know was coming. Rejoice! You’ve just been saved from a boatload of problems.  I know it is tough to do but with practice, it gets easier.

2. Don’t take things personally.

Okay, so I won’t lie this is so hard for me – the proverbial people pleaser.  I have to remind myself (more often then I want to admit) what others say and do is not about me; it is about them.  Every once in a while I need the gentle kick in the butt as a reminder “the world does not revolve around me”!  I don’t intentionally think like this but it happens or at least my actions seem as if I think this way.  Admit it, I am not alone!   When we understand everything truly is not about us – it takes away the personal aspect, it frees us up to accept you can get caught in the path of other people’s battles and issues which have nothing to do with YOU – your abilities, or your worth.

3. You deserve to be in relationship with people who want to be in relationship with you.

So true for personal and professional relationships. If you have to chase a someone, there is an imbalance.  As a result, your contribution to the relationship is valued as less than what someone else brings to the relationship. This is when feelings of rejection and unworthiness are repeatedly reinforced throughout the relationship. Value relationships with people who want to be in relationship with you – who see your worth, who respect and value you, your time, your strengths. When you decide you deserve this, you won’t see “no” as rejection.  No will be a sign the relationship will not offer you the balance you desire.

4. “No” today doesn’t mean “no” forever.

Timing is key. I tell my team this all of the time.  After 6 plus years in direct sales, if I stopped asking everyone who said no to me if they wanted to have a party; I would be out of business!  This is how we start to build relationships with potential customers, hostesses and team members.  You need to keep the doors of communication open. When they say “no”, I usually ask a few more questions to understand why they said no. Then I ask them if I can reach out again and ask.  They will usually respond with a “yes”.  The door is still open allowing you to figure out how to get to a “yes” the next time.

Situations are different with everyone – someone struggle with hearing the word no in their business but keep moving forward when it is in their personal life.  For others, the reverse is true.  There are even those who can’t handle the word “no” in any part of their life.  The key is to not take it personally.

I challenge you this week to not let a “rejection” leave you feeling bad about yourself. Change the “no” into something which will empower you to keep moving forward to reach your goal.

What is a “no” you haven’t been able to bounce back from?  Can you use any of these tips to help you move forward?  Change the negative to a positive….Share it with us

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What Makes You Special?

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Today is WOOHOO Wednesday and we are going to CELEBRATE your uniqueness or those qualities that make you special.   I was inspired today to talk about this after reading a blog post by Lynette Barbieri.

If I asked you to tell me “what makes you special?“, could you do it?

It would be a struggle for me – shocking for some, I am sure.   Growing up, I didn’t want to be unique – I just wanted to fit in.  I didn’t want to be “special” because that meant that I wasn’t popular.  I didn’t know what was special about me.  I didn’t have that feeling in my gut that told me how great I was.  I wanted to hide in a corner and not be seen.  I lived that way for many years.  Then I started to squash those inner gremlins and embrace the positives qualities that are deep in my core.

In direct sales, I  often hear that you want to stand out from the pack.  I mean with thousands of consultants in your company, why would someone pick you above anyone else.  Why would they stay faithful to you?  I honestly didn’t know.  I always knew that I had a special purpose but I never knew how to express it.  Was being a good listener special?  How about helping others? Or giving to others even when you don’t have it?  I am crafty but is that special?  I can play (or used to) the piano, what is so special about that?

I am learning that all of those things are the qualities that draw people to me.  I am resourceful able to connect people with resources.  I get along with people from all different backgrounds.  I am passionate, and caring.  I want to make people smile.  I have lots of “stuff” (information) in my head but I don’t always know how to share it – just ask and I will share all I know.

The truth is that I may not believe that I have greatness inside of me BUT I DO believe that you have greatness in YOU!

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So, what about you?  What are your strengths?  I know I keep going back to that but when we lock into what those are, it will help us know where we are going.  We have to be willing to take risks to discover our purpose and to achieve greatness.  A life without risk is boring, right?

Maybe you know what your greatness is and you are afraid to share it?  You don’t have to hide it.  You don’t have to deny it.  You don’t have to worry about what other people say or think.  You need to OWN IT!

At a Leadership retreat, my mantra became “Own My Journey“.  Because the truth was that I was trying to follow everyone else’s journey.  I need and so do you to “own your journey” so that we can grow into the people sharing our gifts along with the way.  We all have our own journey.  What other people think is none of our business.

keep calm and sparkle on

As Vanessa Coppes, refers to it “your shining  light”!  By working with both of these ladies, I started to see my shining light and I learned that I need to let it shine more!

So, ladies, never let anyone dim that light.  Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

What makes you special? I would love to hear it! Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

We Are Enough!

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~Maya Angelou

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Over the last few weeks, I have been stomping on some inner gremlins – the ones that I thought were long gone .  Being over-tired from working too many hours, health issues and being stuck on my weight loss journey AGAIN caused those gremlins to chatter.  They started to tell me how I should look and where I should be in my business. Yup, when they start chattering they jump all over to see what buttons they can push.   They started to tell me that I would be happier if I was thinner, prettier, more successful – you know the list, right?

The truth is that am enough. And if someone else doesn’t see my worth, it’s okay. I am enough! 

My WOOHOO Wednesday posts are inspired by an amazing Abundance Coach, Eryka Peskin. She has helped me to see my worth.  She has helped me to find the beauty on the inside of me, instead of the just the beauty that is reflected in a mirror.

The truth is that losing five pounds or getting to my goal weight won’t make me any happier.  I have stopped identifying my physical appearance with my self-worth. I am not my weight, or my jean size. I am enough. I am me.

Are you wondering how an ABUNDANCE Coach helped me to crush those gremlins and change my thinking?  She showed me how to CELEBRATE all aspects of my life.  Today, we are going to CELEBRATE our body and the beauty of it. WOW!  Those groans are really LOUD!

Your body has allowed you to do amazing things. It provides the housing for our mind and our spirit, and its intricacies and functions are astoundingly amazing. No, I have NOT lost my mind. I totally get that you struggle with finding something that you LOVE about your body.  Every time this exercise comes up, I cringe too BUT each time it gets a little easier.

Here’s a few:

  • I celebrate my beautiful brown eyes that allow me to see the beauty of the world and the changing of the season.
  • I celebrate my wonderful curly hair that I am embracing to let the creative and natural aspects of my personality blossom.  It lets me shine without conforming to the world’s idea that “straight hair” is the best look for professional women.
  • I celebrate the aches and pains that I have developed that remind me to take care of myself by eating healthier and resting.  I love that these aches and pains are helping me to take better care of myself.

We have so much to give, and we are perfect just the way we are.  Others may criticize and judge;  let them.  I want you to know that you are amazing and perfect just the way you are. Criticize yourself less, love yourself more, and you will be happier.

Now, I challenge you to do the same thing.  CELEBRATE your body.  Here is how I was shown to CELEBRATE:

Celebrations 1 & 2: 
Let the first two be celebrations of your magnificent body.  It can be things your body enables you to do, parts of your body you love–whatever brings you joy about your body, celebrate that!  (And I KNOW we can ALLLLLLL come up with two!  So do it!)

Celebration 3: If you have pain or illness, celebrate the pain/illness (<—I know this is so, so, SO hard)!

You may think it is ridiculous, but we spend so much time looking in the mirror criticizing than celebrating ourselves. See what a difference it makes when you start CELEBRATING instead of listening to the chatter of those inner gremlins.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!